For Better, For Worse

What would you do if your new husband was struck with a deadly, disfiguring disease? For Diane Reiners, the diagnosis was a test of love, strength, and the power of wedding vows.

Cancer doesn’t make it easier to love someone. I change his bandages and remind him to take his medication. I make him high-calorie smoothies of Carnation Instant Breakfast, peanut butter, oil, and ice cream. Once, during an MRI, he was fussing like a 2-year-old; I snapped at him and he snapped back at me. I felt guilty for the rest of the day. Still, we rarely fight. We laugh when people say that marriage is hard work. Cancer is hard work; our marriage is easy. But taking care of him can leave me without much time to take care of myself—I don’t go for checkups with my own doctors and I quit going to the gym. Still, there is nothing—nothing—I’d rather be doing than being there with him.

via Dealing with Cancer – Spouse Has Cancer – Marie Claire.

I read this entry obviously being able to relate to it.  Dealing with cancer within a marriage differs from couple to couple – and patient/caregiver relationship – it really does test your relationship. There are times when you think you just want a break – get away from it all – at least for me, those thoughts were fleeting and brief. Being able to help and support my partner no matter the circumstances is what I signed up for. He is my best friend and I can’t image life without him – and it’s true – there is nothing else I would rather do than to be able to support and help him back to health. It’s what love is and we are stronger because of it. Our kids get the benefit of our marriage being tested like that and we both did in terms of how we relate to what’s important in life.

And although this author mentions not being able to get to the gym, we all know I chose a different path and got to the gym as a way to help everyone around me. Taking care of the caretaker which I think helped us not only survive our experience, but thrive…