Yesterday afternoon I found out a friend of mine passed away unexpectedly the evening before– I feel numb and sad for his family. None of us know when our time is up – so don’t waste time leaving things unsaid and actions undone.
Kal was the kind of person who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He loved his family, always had a kind word and a smile to offer. His biggest pride and joy were his two boys. My heart aches for them and the rest of his family.
Earlier this week I read something from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson about losing someone:
“Losing a loved one jolts our hearts to the core…
It also has a very special way of helping us move forward in life with an even greater perspective.
We hug our loved ones a little tighter. Pray a little stronger. Work a little harder. Smile a little bigger.
Life goes on and memories are forever cherished…”
It’s odd to think that The Rock is someone I am quoting, but there it is. Rest In Peace Kal.
I had lunch with a friend yesterday that I haven’t seen in almost a year and it really helped me recharge. Sometimes you don’t realize you miss someone until you spend time with them again. Sara left the company I worked at up until recently back in February – for many of the same reasons I was unhappy. She took the plunge and just left. Decided to take a risk and jump –and guess what? A Net appeared. It wasn’t necessarily the net she envisioned but part of the reasons she did it was to make some changes in her life. Since February, she learned to relax - not be dictated by a schedule or the clock. Routine free – Freedom. She told me how hard it was for her to embrace this type of freedom at first. Goes to show you even learning to relax and go with the flow is like anything else, it takes practice.
I was really inspired by her yesterday. She has always been a big supporter of me, many times believing in me more than I thought I deserved. And she completely understood where I am mentally right now. Learning how to live this new life career wise without fear. Letting things happen – seeing where the path takes me. I have always lived a life of routine and structure. It is my safe place and now that I don’t have it – it’s so uncomfortable for me. Learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable is key.
We spent a lot of time yesterday talking about the difficult people we have had to deal with lately and how well or not well we have fared. She said a few things that really resonated with me – that may not make sense to others as I share it but it sure did connect some things for me:
Part of the issue with my last job, I didn’t deal with certain difficult people well and just because I don’t have to deal with them anymore, doesn’t mean that I am done learning whatever lesson they were meant to teach me. Whatever that personality type is, I will run into it again because I haven’t really finished learning the lesson that they were there to teach me. Sounds very ‘out there’ I know, but I do definitely believe that people are put into our lives for reasons. And I definitely need to work on hiding some of my emotions when I am in a professional work situation and learn to accept that not everyone cares as deeply as I do about the work they do. That’s one of the toughest things I have had to understand. Some people are really OK with 80% being good enough. Crazy but true!
I think everyone should reach out to someone they haven’t talked to in a while – it’s amazing how re-energizing it can be!
Today’s workout was 5×5 pull ups and then we did 125 Wall Balls as our met-con. If you stopped at all, you had to do three burpees! It was definitely not one of my favorite workouts. But I got through it and now it’s time for a rest day tomorrow, and lots of good food!
- Why you really get sick on planes – and how to prevent it - Don’t read this if you going to be totally grossed out and it will prevent you from doing your normal stuff!
- This sounds pretty cool: muscle sensing clothing Backed With $3.5M From Social+Capital, Athos Is Creating Connected Workout Clothing That Tracks Your Muscle Output And More
- Processed Meats Declared Too Dangerous for Human Consumption
My sister in law recommended watching Happy, a documentary that according to Netflix:
…takes viewers on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy. Combining real-life stories and scientific interviews, the film explores the secrets behind our most valued emotion.
Kind of fitting that after watching that documentary, I came across this from Huff Post: The Habits Of Supremely Happy People. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?
Have you ever stopped and really thought about what it takes to make you happy?
I often hear people say if I only had more money or <fill in whatever material possession>, I would be so much happier. Whenever I hear that, I think about all the ‘famous’ people out there that have enough money to not have to worry but aren’t the most healthy, happy people in the world. They divorce, they have health issues, their kids are all kinds of crazy…. Money doesn’t buy happiness – no matter how much you want to believe it. It removes one category of worry and stress yes, but when you peel back all the layers – it’s not what satisfies you as a person and a single individual living in the world.
Being loved, having great people around you, exercise & movement, laughter, joy, having a purpose, being challenged, loving others, giving back — all of those things fill your heart and give meaning to your life. That’s the key – -having a sense of meaning and purpose I think.
We all have low moments in our lives — but being able to bounce back after the lows is what helps us grow and progress.
“Resilience, not happiness, is the opposite of depression.”
Thinking about this lately has really challenged me to think differently. I often think about people my age – is our life how we envisioned it when we were young and unencumbered by fear? Younger people have this sense of being able to conquer whatever they want –they can do anything, they can be anything. There is nothing wrong with having that feeling as your guiding mission – but it has to be tempered by reality and what you are willing to work for. What happens to us after we have the marriage, the kids, the mortgage that we lose that sense of adventure?: Do we have to lose it — or can it just mean redefining it? I want to recapture that feeling again, so I can be open to all the possibilities that are out there for me.
I believe it starts with making sure you are doing what you can to be happy…. do you agree?
Day two back on the Magnesium Supplement and I feel more rested and calmer. Maybe it’s all in my head but whatever works! Today’s workout beat my shoulders up once again –
Second position cleans 5×2 93#
100 double unders
200m db farmer carry walk 70#
time cap: 15 min
I went over the 15 minutes, so not sure where I finished but boy whether you walk or run with dumbbells — that is brutal.
Yesterday was a tough day I am sure for everyone. I was taken a bit by how emotional I was throughout the day. I’m going through some shit personally and it seemed to be compounded yesterday - which made for a day of sadness and feeling sorry for myself. I’m mad at myself about it – because what happened to all that perspective I have on what’s really important?
I had no idea Scott wrote this yesterday, and came across it this morning and it brought tears to my eyes — it really touched me. He doesn’t tend to get very emotional about things –he’s my steady rock. I am in awe of what he wrote — simply speechless.
Whenever I see the numbers 9 and 11, I remember.
Whenever I fly and go through airport security, I remember.
Whenever I drive past the Pentagon, I remember.
Whenever I see the New York City skyline, I remember.
Whenever someone says “Let’s Roll”, I remember.
Whenever I see the letters F.D.N.Y. or N.Y.P.D., I remember.
Whenever I see Giuliani, or hear his name, I remember.
Whenever I see an American flag at half staff, I remember.
Whenever the Department of Homeland Security is mentioned, I remember.
Whenever I hear about a U.S. soldier being killed in action, I remember.
I remember seeing my yet to be born daughter for the first time via sonogram, and how happy I was. I remember the confusion going on in the doctor’s office as we were leaving, but not understanding why.
I remember my boss calling me as I drove to work late, and her telling me to turn around because they were evacuating the campus.
I remember being glued to the television, when the second plane hit the south tower, and I remember watching the footage over and over again until it was permanently etched into my brain.
I remember people hanging out the windows, and then falling/jumping to escape the fire.
I remember the shock of watching the south tower collapse.
I remember “All circuits are busy” when trying to use the phone.
I remember hearing false information about the Pentagon, and the White House.
I remember being scared and helpless when the north tower collapsed.
I remember footage of thousands of people walking out of the city, covered in grey ash.
I remember newscasters switching from talking about and showing the horror, to honoring and showing the heroes.
I remember reading the scroll at the bottom of the screen for hours and days.
I remember breaking down and sobbing in the middle of the night as I thought about all of those lives lost.
I remember mobile surface to air missile launchers deployed around Washington D.C.
I remember David Letterman, coming back on the air and not telling any jokes.
I remember New York City tourism grinding to a halt, and making it a point to show my support by visiting.
I remember seeing the gaping hole where the Twin Towers stood from the top of the Empire State Building, and the site still smoldering over a month after 9/11.
I remember walking all over the city with my pregnant wife, and having a great time.
I remember Shock and Awe.
I remember ignorant people saying horrible things about Muslims.
I remember having a great sense of Patriotism, and being thankful for the brave men and women who serve in our military.
I remember crazy conspiracy theories.
I remember President Bush standing on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln with a banner that read “Mission Accomplished” in 2003.
I remember the U.S. soldiers that were killed in action.
I remember having a conversation with a young coworker about where we were when the planes hit, and he replied in middle school – I remember I am getting older.
I remember how precious life is, and how much I love my family and friends.
I remember that the world was forever changed.
You are damn right I remember……..everyday.
After that – how can I complain about the small annoyances in my life? However, I think it’s the day to day stuff that we focus on that helps us move forward and beyond tragedies. Life does indeed go on – whether we like it or not and we have to pick ourselves up, persevere and do our part to ensure we are making the world a better place day in and day out. Which is why I am focusing on doing a 21 Day Kindness Challenge – if we all practice kindness, we really can change the world.
- 800m run
- 5/side Turkish Get-ups 26# KB
- 400m run
- 7/side TGUs
- 200m plate run 15#
- 15 burpees
- 3min Plank Holds
Had a great day today celebrating with my friend Cassie who is getting married next week. A group of CFI ladies met for lunch and mimosas as our way of giving her a proper send off!
Christmas Abbott goes after her dream
I make no secret that Iove Christmas Abbott – CrossFit athlete, coach, amazing person and now the first female Nascar pit crew member! CrossFit helps women achieve great things – helping inspire women to embrace strength and mental grit is one of the best thing about CrossFit for me. Showing women and men to some extent that Yes they Can – redefine who they have always believed they were.
Christmas says Conquering the fears that scare you most is the most rewarding, once conquered — and I feel that way about getting PRs, learning new skills and I get to do that often and with hard work at my own hand. No one hands it to me or her or others who focus and commit to making meaningful changes in their life.
And as I have said before — Christmas stays true to herself. She has been successful at CrossFit and when I heard she was doing something with Nascar, I dropped her a note asking her what’s going on? She told me she was going after a dream of hers — and look where that journey has led her. Don’t let fear stand in your way.
Here are two other stories of people doing what they love –and getting recognized for it:
- Nine-year-old football sensation Samantha Gordon jukes Warren Sapp (VIDEO)
- The Incredible Story of a 5-Foot-5 Dunking Sensation [VIDEO]
It’s meeting people like Christmas and reading stories about inspiring people and their feats that keeps me inspired, motivated and committed. Look what redefining who I was four+ years ago has opened up for me — I am blessed (and sappy).
It was a strength day for me — and I am learning to allow myself to let go of the fear of lifting heavy.
100 single jump ropes
10 Pass Thrus
5 push ups
10 whirly birds
5 push ups
10 Hand Stands
- 10min of Double Under practice
- 7×3 Front Squats with a 2 second hold at the bottom
That extra hold at the bottom of the squat really changes the lift and helps you become more aware of your form! It’s awesome, yet sucky at the same time!!
These ladies right here are my rock –they help me make sense of some of the more complicated relationships I have in my life right now and are often my venting and sound boards for experiences and frustrations. You know we call them –good friends. I wouldn’t trade them for the world….
Had a quick workout today and then headed up to the Wounded Warriors competition at CrossFit Rubicon. I will share pics and info about that tomorrow ….
I have come across some bat shit crazy people in my life and what I have realized is that I do have an inner radar that goes off when I first meet these sort of people. Something about what they say, how they say it just raises a flag in my head and for the most part, after a while of being around them, I am usually dead on right about them. I have a few observations about similarities I have discovered in these sort of people:
- They usually have low self esteem and are compensating for it by treating others like shit.
- They are disrespectful in a mean, spiteful way
- They have no idea to handle uncomfortable situations maturely and head on.
- They blame everyone else
- They are easily swayed and influenced by the words of others just like them
What I have decided moving forward is that when my radar goes off I will consciously steer myself clear of the person instead of allowing myself to be a part of their scenario. I dont enjoy participating in squabbles and irrational reactions to events. It’s not fun and I am better than that. I expect more of myself and have control over how things play out. I live a great life – I have my family, food on the table, more stuff than I could ever need and have worked hard to have true joy in my life. Allowing crazy ass people to take up space in my mind is bat shit crazy –and it will stop, today.
Instead of a workout, I coached some great athletes this AM on a workout called Fractured Fran. It’s like Fran but broken up into five rounds.
Tonight is the finale of the Whole Life Challenge for the CrossFit Athletes — it’s been a long eight weeks for many of them but I have seen some real transformations!! So happy that I get to help people change their lives for the better. That is an awesome feeling –
I love this post: How to Be Friends With Another Woman.
I often notice how we women can be our own worst enemies, tearing each other down, gossiping about one another, harshly judging. Guys don’t act like that — I always think back to a pick up game of basketball. Scott can go out with a ball and just start playing with a bunch of guys he has never met. Can you imagine a woman doing that with a group of women playing a game or sitting having coffee? It would be a total invasion of space – it’s not how we are normally wired. How about we just accept one another, support one another, lend a hand to one another –
I love this part of what Michelle Obama said during her 2012 Convention speech - it can be applied to our friendships and relationships with other women:
You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you … Now, we must be careful not to “slam the door shut behind us.”
Here are a few of the author’s suggestions:
1. Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be toxic, bitchy or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses — pretty but designed to SLOW women down.
1A. This is not to say women aren’t bitches or toxic or competitive sometimes but rather to say that these are not defining characteristics of female friendship, especially as you get older.
2. A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology.
2A. The female friendship in Sheila Heti’s How Should a Person Be? is actually awesome and powerful. If you read it as otherwise, ask yourself why.
3. If you find that you are feeling competitive, toxic, or bitchy toward the women who are supposed to be your closest friends, look at why and figure out how to fix it and/or find someone who can help you fix it.
4. If you are the kind of woman who says, “I’m mostly friends with guys,” and act like you’re proud of that, like that makes you closer to being a man or something, and less of a woman as if a woman is a bad thing, see Item 3. It’s okay if most of your friends are guys but if you champion this as a commentary on the nature of female friendships, well, soul search a little.
4A. If you feel like it’s hard to be friends with women consider that maybe women aren’t the problem. Maybe it’s just you.
6. Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it’s probably going to be easier for you to be happy.
6A. If you’re having a rough go of it and a friend is having the best year ever and you need to think some dark thoughts about that, do it alone, with your therapist, or in your diary so that when you actually see your friend, you can avoid the myth discussed in Item 1.
6C. Don’t tear other women down because even if they’re not your friends, they are other women and well, this is just important. This is not to say you cannot criticize other women but understand the difference between criticizing constructively and tearing down cruelly.
6D. Everybody gossips so if you are going to gossip about your friends, at least make it fun and interesting. As a corollary, never say, I never lie or I never gossip because you are lying.
Make sure you read the rest of her suggestions. They really make sense….and let’s make a pledge to change how we view our female friendships. Let’s just change –
I don’t know if you can see this but if you enlarge it — notice how excited this person was at the great deals she was able to get using coupons! Then notice the crap food she bought — mostly processed food which almost every ‘expert’ – no matter what doctor or diet you are on – tells you to stay away from. Its a great example of what’s wrong with people and why people are so overweight and unhealthy!
There is nothing wrong with this person – she is doing what she knows and most of the country knows this same information of what to eat. It’s BAD information!
And one of my friends posted this the other morning as she waited for her flight — her caption is dead on.
There is a real problem with our society and their habits. We all know habits are tough to change but this one affects us all! Healthcare costs, family member health, cancer, creating memories with the people we love! All of these are affected by people’s health habits. Think about it —