Lead a Fit and Healthy Life
General Reflections
Perception is NOT reality
01 day ago
My daughter has been sick going on 3 days now — fever, chills, hallucinations. Those are the freakiest things to watch her experience. She sees and feels thing and has this wild look in her eyes. And of course she yells at me during them for not helping her. Moms sometimes can’t win –
Today is my rest day — Sun, Mon, Tues, and Weds were all CrossFit days, so I figured it was OK to rest today. I don’t think anyone would argue with me.
I just signed up for the CrossFit Gymnastics Trainer Course. From the CF website:
At the CrossFit Gymnastics Trainer Course, Coach Tucker and his staff will delve into basic, intermediate and advanced gymnastics forms in a lecture setting followed by practical application. Skills will be repeated until the student has a full grasp and understanding of how to learn, spot and teach instructed methods safely. Instruction will include how to scale and spot all demonstrated movements for beginners and accomplished athletes.
I’m beyond excited for this in April. You should join me if you are in the area – here’s some info on how to sign up.
I read this short blog post yesterday: When mean girls become mommies and I thought about how it can be applied so much broader than just mommies. We all JUDGE — think about how sometimes when someone walks through the gym door or through the office halls and you immediately snap to judgement on who and what they are. We all do it – some more, some less. Do you ever think about why?
One of the things I have been told that boils my blood is Perception is Reality. I seriously think this is the biggest load of bullshit and excuses people from owning their judgement and seeing and knowing what’s going on and who a person is. I get that we all have filters that we use when we observe a situation, but it’s not unreasonable to expect people to stop and find out what’s the reality instead of just relying on their perceived reality. It’s the easy way out and nothing worth having or experiencing comes easy. Think back to a time when someone or something surpassed your initial perception or judgement. You were glad you didn’t take things at face value and invested more time and found the value.
My friend Kimmy loves to share the story of the first time she met me – it was my first day at Boot Camp 3+ years ago. Look, I was no athlete and certainly didn’t look the part. I showed up 545A in July 2008 raring to go — with some fancy sunglasses on. I am not ashamed to admit it – I was there to ‘workout’ and it was sunny. She thought I wasn’t going to last very long — HA!
I quickly found out that it wasn’t practical at all to be wearing Coach sunglasses and jumping all over the place. Well — what if she took her judgement of me from that experience and didn’t take the time to see who I was — well, we wouldn’t be friends today and would have missed out on some really fun times. Just some food for thought — don’t let your initial judgement of someone cloud your ability to see the real truth.
Revisit the Kid in you & uncover your Appetite for Knowledge
01 week ago
Kids have an insatiable appetite for knowledge and an unapologetic curiosity for all things new and misunderstood. When they don’t know the answer they actively seek the truth. They have a natural humility without posturing, pretense, or ego wrapped up in their questions; they fill up their knowledge bank by being open. Whenever I’m in the car with my 6 year-old daughter, she bombards me with, “Why this Daddy, why that Daddy?” and if she doesn’t understand how or why something works, from the simple to the complex, she has no hesitation asking. It’s amazing how the power of asking “Why?” and the conversation that follows always leads to a deeper discussion around the subject.
Approach every situation and every business challenge with a learning mindset. Put “why” to work by challenging convention and existing solutions with questions that help you gain knowledge and understanding. Use the power of “why” in all aspects of your work (and in relationships for that matter) for clarity on the objectives, reason for a project, and observational learning around consumer behavior. If you don’t know or you don’t understand why your team or the company is going down a certain path, don’t sit there as an uninformed passenger, ask “why?”! Here are some things you might consider questioning this week:
- Why not?
- Why did you ask me to do this?
- Why are we doing it like this?
- Why are we talking about this?
- Why don’t we think of a better way?
- Why don’t we step back and ask for input?
- Why didn’t I get the promotion?
- Why do people love this?
- Why should I care?
- Why is no one listening to us?
De-Cluttering Time! 25 Things to Throw Out Today
12 weeks ago
I love love love this article. I have a tendency to collect things that i mean to go through and get rid of. I do not have issues throwing things away, I have issues with having time to go through the stuff, to decide what needs to go. I’m going to do a lot of these this week — How about you?
Now, we all have a little hoarder inside each of us. We see some things that we just can’t bear to get rid of, probably because there’s an emotional attachment to them. Sometimes things are valuable, and we keep them for that reason. On rare occasions, we don’t even know why we’re hanging onto something, but we are.
Well, there’s a great feeling of liberation that can come from shedding these items. If you’d like to feel it yourself, here’s a list of 25 things that you should throw out today. And by that, I mean donate, dump, trash, incinerate, whatever you like…just remove them from your life.
Are you doing what you love?
12 weeks ago
This morning’s workout was the famous Lady of CrossFit – FRAN. Mentally I was just not in the game this morning – I heard some very sad news yesterday that brought both Scott and I to tears and has thrown me for a loop this morning.
Mrs McMichael, Nate and Ms. Megan
Nate, who is in 2nd grade now, had the most wonderful Kindergarten teacher. Mrs McMichael is the definition of teacher – smart, interactive, passion for teaching. While Nate was still in K, she and I talked about kids in general. She and her husband had been trying to have a baby for some time but had not given up hope. Last year, she finally got pregnant but the pregnancy was a very rough one. She was very sick and was put on bed rest. But she made it through the 9 months, and now Carter is 11 months old.
During her hard pregnancy, her husband became seriously ill and turns out he had a brain tumor. He died on Monday. 33 years old.
I have not been in regular contact with her since Nate graduated although have attended the fundraisers on their behalf and sent her a note. I can not even begin to understand what she must be going through – my heart breaks for her in so many ways. As a mother, a wife, a cancer caregiver, a young adult who shouldn’t be dealing with cancer changing their family. And as I have mentioned before, it brings up our own experience each and every time we hear about someone losing their cancer battle. That could have been our family -
I just can’t seem to get it all out of my mind — it definitely is a good reminder about priorities in your life. I wrote this short status update yesterday:
Life is so short & unpredictable– wake up every day thankful and appreciative of all the great people in your life. You never know what tomorrow will bring…
It’s the kind of news that you just shake your head a lot and think about where you are in your life — and what if it all ended tomorrow? Are you doing what you love?
Resolution Follow Up: Get Moving
03 weeks ago
It’s a great day isn’t it? It’s Friday, many of us have Monday off — the weather in Northern VA isn’t too shabby. Life is pretty good right now, right this second, day. What are you doing to kick off your day? It’s the 13th of January and for many of us, we vow to make changes but never really sit down and think through the ‘HOW’ of making the changes. Nothing comes easy or free — weight loss, good spirits, fitness are no different.
I don’t really share any in depth info about my husband Scotty very much on this blog. Partly because this is my journey and while he is definitely an influencer of it in more ways than I can count, it’s my story to tell. Also, he’s more private about stuff than I am — obviously. He doesn’t live his life like an open book. This may surprise you, but I don’t either. My book is certainly more open than most, but there are some things that I choose to keep private.
This blog highlights one aspect of my life –my personal passion. You can call it an obsession but I find that with that word brings certain pre-conceived negative ideas. If something brings you joy, keeps you healthy, surrounds you with a great community and keeps you learning and striving to improve – it’s a passion. Does I sometimes get carried away with it all — yes but I recognize that and that’s what counts.
Anyway, back to my original point — Scotty. Scotty started CrossFit a few weeks ago. I could not be more proud of him, even though he comes home ‘mad at me’ for encouraging him to go. I will take him mad at me forever if it means he’s working on getting back into shape and getting healthy.
Since his cancer treatment, it’s been hard for him to get back into any sort of fitness routine. He still has some neurological issues because of the chemo and while you and I can push through them — imagine having your hands and feet hurt all the time and try to do any sort of fitness. You use your hands and feet all the time! It’s no excuse though. When we finished up chemo, Dr. Marshall – our oncologist – told us “your diet matters but what is most important is getting regular fitness in. We know, it’s proven, that regular exercise helps prevent colon cancer from returning.”
Now, think about that. The Dr just said regular exercise can help prevent a re occurrence. After all he has been through, he owes it to himself to get moving. So, although there is a cancer card in the mix, he’s no different than many people out there struggling to follow through on their NYE resolutions to get in shape. Look at it this way – We know – there is proof – that regular exercise can prevent so many cancers and other diseases from occurring. You owe it to yourself to get moving!
Life is Short
12 months ago
by Stephy
in General Reflections
It’s my Monday after a long holiday today. Family have all returned to their homes — house is getting re-settled, life is moving on. It’s times like these that you realize how short of a time we really have. My sisters and I are adults –when did that happen? I remember my sister Dee and I fighting, sharing, laughing, protecting each other as we grew up — and now we are fully on our own living very different lives. Yet when we come together– no one gets me more than her. The same goes for all of my brothers and sisters, but Dee and I grew up together – insert long story – so there seems to be a bond that goes just a bit deeper.
My next door neighbor died this weekend, unexpectedly, although he was not in the best of health. We just saw him on Thanksgiving, playing his guitar in his back yard, frying up his holiday turkey and the following day, washing his car. Now he’s gone. Just like that. Early morning emergency vehicles in front of his house, the glazed look of his family – gone. How does his family pick up their life after that? Or after realizing your marriage is over? Or any other crisis or drastic change in your life — how do you find the strength, the will, the desire to continue on, move on, or even start over?
Some turn the wrong way and linger in the abyss of depression, self destructive-ness, or self pity and don’t move at all. Plain and simple. They remain in a state of shock and do whatever they can to numb the feelings that need to be felt and dealt with. It’s a death — no matter what the situation is. A death of a loved one, a death of a marriage, a death of a dream, a death of an old way of life. It’s not always a bad thing.
I have said this before — sometimes, life leads you to what you are supposed to be doing even if it means you are led kicking and screaming. The key is to be open to change — See where life takes you, enjoy the moments, and if you have to — live moment by moment, day to day . Eventually it gets easier and if it doesn’t, it’s time to regroup, evaluate and maybe even change course – even if that means taking lots of missteps. You learn from those too — but try not to wait too long, because it’s true — life is short.
Change that Attitude…
02 months ago
by Stephy
in General Reflections
My friend wore this shirt to our workout on Sunday and it made me me laugh. See if you can figure out what it says —
I was all ready to go workout this morning but when I woke up — I realized I am sore! So – I decided to get some extra sleep and skipped the workout this AM. You really have to stop sometimes and take stock of where you are in your fitness journey. Sometimes you need to deviate from your regular schedule to take an extra day to recover or throw in an extra workout day. Life is about being flexible so fitness needs to fit into that sort of plan.
My shoulders, hamstrings and abs hurt. Top, Mid-section, Bottom –I guess that means my entire body is sore!
I have decided that I am going to focus on my attitude the next few weeks. I am going to work on being happy for people that seem happy and successful. Most of us tend to have a bit of resentment or look at those type of people with a bit of sarcasm. I am going to choose to be happy for them being happy and conversely, I am going to not spend time thinking about those people out there that are just plain crappy. They aren’t worth my time and I am wasting my own time thinking about them and what they have done that pissed me off. So starting today — I am going to look at the world differently on purpose and not give any of my brain space to people that simply don’t deserve it. Where did I guess this crazy idea? I have been reading this blog that really seems to encapsulate some of my thoughts — and gives some good advice. Check out the blog by James Altucher when you get a chance…
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It’s all related –Mind and Body
04 months ago
The key is being aware of how you treat yourself. We are usually our harshest critics. Once you are self aware, you can at least begin to address the issue. It’s the same with working out. Body awareness is key to being more efficient and effective in your workouts. See how it’s all related –mind and body.
“As I became more and more aware of how often and how harshly I judged myself, I finally made the connection: Disapproving of myself led to needing others’ approval. As long as I was treating myself so badly — not only by judging myself, but also by giving myself up to please others and by not attending at all to my own feelings and needs — I desperately needed others’ approval to feel that I was okay.
This was a huge awareness for me. I realized that I wasn’t approval-dependent because there was something flawed and defective about me, but because I was treating myself so abusively. This was something I could do something about! I finally realized that, while I could not control how others felt about me and treated me — even if I was “perfect” — I could control how I felt about myself and treated myself.”
Good Intentions
24 months ago
by Stephy
in General Reflections
I have been on the verge of tears all day –and I am not sure if they are tears of sadness or tears of anger, or both. I have worked so hard to improve myself the past few years. I have been through some heavy shit starting with — My husband had cancer! Fucking Cancer people — having to face the reality that he could die is not something I wish on anyone ever, let alone seeing him go through treatment. We got through it and if you didn’t know about what we had gone thru, you sure as hell couldn’t tell we did today. I take pride in that –
I try very hard to approach things with the best of intentions. I show up at my job wanting to do the best job I can. I approach CrossFit, wanting to perform the best I can. I try to be a good friend to people — and have the best intentions when building the relationships I do. I am a very good person — I truly want the best for people and want to be liked. I want to be respected for what I do and be around smart, sharp people that love to laugh, innovate, inspire and motivate those around them. And lately it seems when I start to feel things are going well in my life — someone or something shows up that feels like a big sucker punch to my gut. I don’t understand it — I have been wrestling with it in my head for days now — I can’t sleep, I am teary, I can’t eat, I can’t laugh. I am beyond upset and can’t figure out why I am attracting people that do not want the best for me. It sucks — and this time I responded very differently than I had before and am trying to process what happened before making a decision on how to act upon it. I hate to be so cryptic but the actual situation doesn’t really matter –
When you are in a situation where you are someone’s punching bag and you get bullied every time you may have made a misstep – and I say may because you aren’t even sure if what you did was wrong — you can only take it for so long. And when it happens every few months, and it becomes hostile and threatening – you owe it to yourself to make a decision. For me, it’s decision time — As my one friend says, you can fight back or you can take it in the ass, it’s your choice.
As normal practice, I don’t like to cause ruckus in my life. I want things running as smooth as possible. Life is too short! My kids and husband are healthy, I have a house to live in, food on my table — love in my life and that’s what really matters to me. I remind myself of that when things start to get to me outside of that bubble because I have all that I need. But it really has come to a point where it is interfering with all of that. I have to be strong and fight back because I refuse to take it in the ass anymore —
There is such a thing as too many choices…
04 months ago
by Stephy
in General Reflections
Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue?
This makes so much sense to me. There are way too many choices out there for people and “Ducking a decision often creates bigger problems in the long run, but for the moment, it eases the mental strain.” Ain’t that the truth…
Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes, buy junk food at the supermarket and can’t resist the dealer’s offer to rustproof their new car. No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price. It’s different from ordinary physical fatigue — you’re not consciously aware of being tired — but you’re low on mental energy. The more choices you make throughout the day, the harder each one becomes for your brain, and eventually it looks for shortcuts, usually in either of two very different ways. One shortcut is to become reckless: to act impulsively instead of expending the energy to first think through the consequences. (Sure, tweet that photo! What could go wrong?) The other shortcut is the ultimate energy saver: do nothing. Instead of agonizing over decisions, avoid any choice. Ducking a decision often creates bigger problems in the long run, but for the moment, it eases the mental strain. You start to resist any change, any potentially risky move — like releasing a prisoner who might commit a crime. So the fatigued judge on a parole board takes the easy way out, and the prisoner keeps doing time.
Decision fatigue is the newest discovery involving a phenomenon called ego depletion, a term coined by the social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister in homage to a Freudian hypothesis. Freud speculated that the self, or ego, depended on mental activities involving the transfer of energy. He was vague about the details, though, and quite wrong about some of them (like his idea that artists “sublimate” sexual energy into their work, which would imply that adultery should be especially rare at artists’ colonies). Freud’s energy model of the self was generally ignored until the end of the century, when Baumeister began studying mental discipline in a series of experiments, first at Case Western and then at Florida State University.
