In this world, there’s always going to be people who are better then you, so stop comparing yourself to others, and just be the best you can be.

How true this quote is. We all have met the person who is first in line to point out a mistake or misstep someone took — but rarely in tuned with their own short comings. What could be behind their reasoning? It can’t possibly be to make people like them. Who wants to be around someone who is quick to point out every flaw or bad call you make?

She is the person that when you are in the middle of a diet and are eating that ‘cheat’ meal, she loudly announces “you aren’t allowed to have that”. Does she not realize you are a grown adult and in control of your decisions? Why does she care?  Why can’t she ask you about it without the accusatory tone? Be supportive when you need it and give you a good kick in the ass when you need that too!

I have been guilty of being this person at times in my life as well. What I have learned to do when the impulse hits me is to stop, breathe and ask myself — What is my intention? What am I trying to do by pointing it out or saying what I want to say? If it’s to hurt someone or cause drama – then I ask myself Why? Is that really what I want to do? Honestly, sometimes the answer is YES even though its probably not the ‘right’ thing to do but that’s a whole different lesson in life —  Figuring out what your intention is BEFORE you decide to share your thoughts with someone can be the key in whether you say it or not… Many times you will find out that it’s best not to say what was on your mind. At least that’s what I have learned.

So if you are one of the people in life who likes to point out unnecessarily other people’s faults, stop, breathe and read this…

• Do You Unnecessarily Point Out Flaws?
• CrossFit Cheaters Anonymous 
• What is your Intention? 
• A Challenge: Stay True to Your Intentions

What is your INTENTION? is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

One of my pals David posted this on his facebook wall this AM. It’s a very deep passage but really makes you think. Letting go is so important in order to move forward in your life.  I read a related article the other day about letting go and how it can help you get healthier…

We all have baggage that we sometimes can’t shake and it affects everything we do – shapes the relationships we keep, how we treat ourselves, our kids, the job we seek…

Turning from Attachment to Desire
So much of the journey forward involves a letting go of all that once brought us life. We turn away from the familiar abiding places of the heart, the false selves we have lived out, the strengths we have used to make a place for ourselves and all our false loves, and we venture forth in our hearts to trace the steps of the One who said, “Follow me.” In a way, it means that we stop pretending: that life is better than it is, that we are happier than we are, that the false selves we present to the world are really us. We respond to the Haunting, the wooing, the longing for another life. Pilgrim begins his adventure toward redemption with a twofold turning: a turning away from attachment and a turning toward desire. He wanted life and so he stuck his fingers in his ears and ran like a madman (“a fool,” to use Paul’s term) in search of it. The freedom of heart needed to journey comes in the form of detachment. As Gerald May writes in Addiction and Grace,

Detachment is the word used in spiritual traditions to describe freedom of desire. Not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire . . . An authentic spiritual understanding of detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of desire. Instead, it “aims at correcting one’s own anxious grasping in order to free oneself for committed relationship to God.” According to Meister Eckhart, detachment “enkindles the heart, awakens the spirit, stimulates our longings, and shows us where God is.”

With an awakened heart, we turn and face the road ahead, knowing that no one can take the trip for us, nor can anyone plan our way.

(The Sacred Romance , 149)

Work on letting go so you can move forward… it’s not easy but well worth the work:

40 WAYS TO LET GO AND FEEL LESS PAIN

Learning to Let Go is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

I have been told that I’m so friendly that I could make friends with a rock. I also have been told that I’m a good party guest because even if I don’t know anyone, I will get along with people… I take great pride in both of those comments and for being friendly and outgoing.

For me, I know that when I am the new person or unsure of something, it always helps to see a smiling friendly face or someone willing to put themselves out there by offering their hand. Also, I have found that being friendly has many benefits that count..

1. You receive good Kharma points- we all have heard you get back what you put into this world – Believe it.
2. You meet the most interesting people. – I have had the pleasure of meeting amazing, diverse people just by being nice.
3. You learn a ton – You know those people you meet?  They have a breadth of experience and for the most part, will be happy to share their wisdom with you so you can learn.
4. You have Fun! – Who doesn’t need more fun in their lives?
5. You can have a meaningful impact in someone else’s life –  No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. That person you just met could have had the worst possible day and really needed that smile or encouragement.
6. You stand out in a good way – People remember you. It is what differentiates you from the crowd, in a good way! When someone needs information or some help, they will think of you. This is especially helpful at work. Keeps you in the know!
7. You feel good. – Think about how great you feel after you have helped someone out or met a really cool person. It’s energizing!
8. Health Benefits – People with a sunnier disposition tend to be healthier and live longer. This quality of knowing how to be positive is something found in every longevity society.
9. You can get unexpected benefits! – I have been able to go on tours of gov’t buildings that most people don’t get to see. I have been to concerts, shows, sports games, been given thoughtful gifts, hugs, projects, free meals, swag… You name it. All because I was nice and friendly. No one will go out of their way for you, if you don’t put yourself out there.

I was acknowledged yesterday by the department for being the most outgoing person in my department. So, it’s official friends — I can really make friends with a rock. Meet Sam…

Benefits of Being Friendly and Outgoing is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

Love This!

Dare to look Stupid! is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

I have talked about this before but the power of self talk and believing in yourself!  This morning during our skill session, we were working on handstands. A new athlete walked up to the wall and said there is no way I can do this, right before she tried. I looked at her and pulled out my “Tony Blauer” voice and said — you are right.

If you remember, I talked about the Be Your Own BodyGuard and how you have to be mentally prepared for an attack and it’s about how you think about a situation that can seriously determine its outcome.  Stop and think about that — it rings true for almost anything.  It can certainly change how you get through situations, if not determine how it completely plays out.

A friend of mine lost their job this week unexpectedly. You can see it in her body language what a shock it is — she is still numb from it.  She worked at this place for a long time, was successful and didn’t see it coming.  That’s what Life is really. A roller coaster ride. You have ups and downs — and if you get too comfortable, life has a way of shaking things up again to keep you on guard.  I don’t know what the key is to prepare for it — just hang on with a flexible mind and fit body.

I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. Can be to teach us a good, hard lesson or send us on a new path -

I know personally, when things are supposed to go a certain way or I am supposed to do something – it falls into place with little effort.  This has rung true for me every time there has been a big stress or life changing event in my life – moving, job change, fitness, illness, friendship, a big purchase, family.  It goes back to how you think about things — sometimes you have to let go of the thoughts that you have control of things in your life. Sometimes, you don’t.

I know my friend will be just fine — and it will turn out better than she even expected, but the hanging on and having faith part sometimes is the toughest of the journey.

It Happens For A Reason is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

I ran across this blog post the other day that really resonated with me — and they used a Yiddish proverb, so how could I not love it!

99 Excuses For NOT Making Ideas Happen

There’s an old Yiddish proverb that goes, “If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.” In other words, if you’re NOT doing something, what does it matter why?

… a list of the most common excuses for NOT making ideas happen. Not surprisingly, the response was overwhelming. We can all make a list of excuses as long as our arm for why we’re not taking action. 

So what’s the point of us listing them out here? Reason No. 1: To face facts. If we recognize the patterns we fall into, we can change them. Reason No. 2: To invalidate them. As an antidote to inaction, we’ve provided a counter-argument for each excuse. Don’t commiserate, instigate!

Here’s a few that I hear often from people –

1. I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME.

9. IT’S NOT THE RIGHT MOMENT TO DO IT.

13. I NEED TO DO MARKET RESEARCH. (or more research)

14. I HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN.

Excuses HOLD you back from what you want — that is, IF you really want it!

Excuses for NOT making ideas happen is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

I’m a complete sexist. I want women to look as good as possible. And I’m not the only one. Women want to look as sexy as possible. That’s why they buy hundreds of millions worth of form-fitting Spanx every year. And now Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx is worth a billion according to Forbes. She took Justin Timberlake’s advice. A million is not cool. A billion is cool.

So what happened next? In the past 24 hours I’ve heard three different guys say something to the affect of, “She? She is worth a billion? Huh. I guess anyone can be worth a billion.” As soon as someone says that they are scratched off my list of people I want to spend time with. I only like to be around positive people who celebrate success.

via The Spanx Woman is Worth A Billion!? My Key Takeaways. Altucher Confidential.

The Spanx Woman is Worth A Billion!? My Key Takeaways. Altucher Confidential is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

When There’s More To Winning Than Winning

It was senior night, and the loudest cheers went to Cory Weissman, No. 3, 5 feet 11 inches, a team captain — especially when he walked out onto the court as one of Gettysburg’s starting five.

Yes, he was a captain, but it was, you see, the first start of his college career. Cory had played a few minutes on the varsity as a freshman, never even scoring. But then, after that season, although he was only 18 years old, he suffered a major stroke. He was unable to walk for two weeks. His whole left side was paralyzed. He lost his memory, had seizures.

But by strenuously devoting himself to his rehabilitation, Cory slowly began to improve. He was able to return to college, and by this year, he could walk without a limp and even participated in the pregame layup drills.

So for senior night, against Washington, his coach, George Petrie, made the decision to start Cory. Yes, he would play only a token few seconds, but it meant a great deal to Cory and to Gettysburg. All the more touching, the Washington players stood and cheered him.

That was supposed to be the end of it, but with Gettysburg ahead by a large margin and less than a minute left in the game, Coach Petrie sent Cory back in.

Nobody could understand, though, what happened next, why the Washington coach, Rob Nugent, bothered to call time out. The fans didn’t know what he told his players there in the huddle: that as quickly as they could, foul No. 3. And one of them did. And with 17 seconds left, Cory Weissman strode to the free-throw line. He had two shots.

Suddenly, the crowd understood what Coach Nugent had sought to do. There was not a sound in the gym. Cory took the ball and shot. It drifted to the left, missing disastrously. The crowd stirred. The referee gave Cory the ball back. He eyed the rim. He dipped and shot. The ball left his hand and flew true. Swish. All net.

The crowd cried as much as it cheered.

This is what Sportsmanship Looks Like is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

Small group today at our 6A because of the holiday — and it was totally my kind of WOD.

Warmup
400m jog

25ft bear crawl
x3–
wall walks
superman/hollow rock
–
25ft bear crawl

Skill

Squat Therapy

WOD

x3
10 Pull Ups
20 Push Ups
30 Sit Ups
40 Squats

time: 9:24 

So, Whitney Houston was laid to rest this weekend in New Jersey. Most everyone knows I am a Jersey grew – raised in Northern NJ, in a town named Cranford. Kindergarten through High School – I grew up there and didn’t realize what a great town it was until I left.  One hour from the shore, 1 hour from Philly, 30m from NYC – it was a prime spot to grow up. Cranford and the towns around it remind you of old town – a time way back when with the downtown commerce and old homes with large yards. When I was growing, you could walk all over the place – go exploring for hours at a time, you know — be a kid. My friends and I would go to through the woods, dip our toes in the river, go canoeing, hang out at the community pool – and not return until dinner time.

The 100+ acre Fairview cemetery was a block away from the house we first lived in when my family moved to New Jersey. The neighborhood kids would head out, trek through the woods and arrive at this huge span of land with the graves dating back to the Civil War. My sister Dee and I would spend time walking the grounds, seeing if we could find the oldest grave stones and wondering about the history of some of the people laid to rest there. We discovered stones marking both young and old souls that are now in the great unknown. We used to discuss our thoughts on what may have happened to them – as odd as that sounds, those memories are something we both hold dear.

You could also go sledding down the great hill at Fairview and at night, if it was clear — you could sit atop that same hill and appreciate the beauty of the New York skyline – World Trade Towers and all.   These are memories that i have not thought of in years – until hearing that Whitney Houston will be laid to rest by her father – For Whitney Houston, A Home She Never Called Home

Fairview Cemetery – Memories from my Childhood is a post from: Live Fit and Sore

I am still recovering from my big party weekend but had a great workout still – upper body workouts are a specialty of mine.  I looked up at the leader board that CFI has on the board that lists top 10 athlete workout times and I am on the board with most of the workouts that focus  on the upper body. Which brings me to something that f’d with my mind a bit over the weekend…

I saw this picture and the first thing that came to my mind was how big I look. And my mind raced around all the work I do and I still look like a big bulky girl. It is not how I see myself so it really screwed me up mentally. I called my sister Dee who talked me down from all the negative self talk I was doing. A picture does not define me. I will never be a small dainty girl with tiny arms and I really have 2 choices — fat big arms or toned big arms but Big Arms are not negotiable. It’s how I am built — upper body strength, broad shoulders, tiny waist and legs and as Dee said — I have to get over this internal shit of being a chubby fat girl who is so self conscious about how I look.

I am 41 years old and still have the same insecurities that I did when I was a teen. Sad isn’t it? Part of it is — I don’t want to be a disappointment to people out there. People that see me get up early all the time and work hard on my fitness and I still don’t look like Jillian Michaels. I know that even Jillian doesn’t look like Jillian but it’s hard to get the images out of my head of what my ideal vision of fitness looks like. I don’t want people who are look at the work I do to look at a picture like that and say oh man — all that work and she looks like that. YES i know I am being an Eeyore – but sometimes I get down on my progress and where I think I should be vs. the reality of where I am. I also think there really is something to that whole body dysmorphic stuff because what I hear from my friends is not what I see many times.

I know I have to change the voices in my head — as I have written about before but it’s not like a snap of the fingers and poof they are gone. It’s constant battle and commitment to SEE things differently – to challenge the negative thoughts in my head. I have triggers and weak moments when those Eeyore thoughts are louder than the ones that drive me to push through.

We all have our triggers & I’m learning to prepare for them so I can push thru without it holding me back.

Choosing To See Things Differently is a post from: Live Fit and Sore