Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there and of course a special shout out to the Dads in my life, including my husband who is the most wonderful Dad and a great role model for our kiddos. I realize this is a hard day for so many out there whose Dads are no longer with us and for those whose Dads were no where to be found.
My relationship with my own Dad has been complicated for most of my life and I wouldn’t necessarily describe us as close. Just in the past few years, I’ve come to realize that it is what it is. I can’t change what happened or who he is — all I can do is strive to be a better parent to my own kids and accept him for where he is today. Doesn’t make the past right or feel any better, but since I can’t change it, I choose to forgive and move forward. Now that he and my Mom are both getting older – it’s just not worth holding onto the anger and the resentment about my childhood. My dad’s health is failing and he is consumed by that fact – and he isn’t capable of being a different person. It’s not easy to give up on the dream of a different relationship but at the end of the day – I am who I am because of all I have experienced. It’s all in how you see things —
If it’s not obvious, Dads have a huge influence on our lives. According to Dr. Gail Gross, “Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.”
Also, according to The Importance of Fathers (According to Science), the effect fathers’ have on their sons is profound:
The Grant Study, the longest longitudal study ever done on the lives of men, found that a man’s father influenced his life in many ways exclusive to his relationship with his mother. Loving fathers imparted to their sons:
- enhanced capacity to play
- more enjoyment of vacations
- greater likelihood of being able to use humor as a healthy coping mechanism
- better adjustment to, and contentment with, life after retirement
- less anxiety and fewer physical and mental symptoms under stress in young adulthood
Speaking of family and Dads, we all went and saw Pixar’s InsideOut yesterday and I loved it. It really was able to demonstrate what goes on in all of our heads one time or another. One of the funniest parts was watching the family at the dinner table and the Mom is trying to signal the Dad to help figure out what was going on with their daughter. He just wasn’t picking up on it, just completely oblivious to what was happening. I was so amused and impressed at how perfectly they were able to capture the real life experience of many Dads. So, even though Dad’s are sometimes quirky and out of it, they have the opportunity to leave a big impact on the world. Go see it if you can and take time today to thank your dad for all he has done…
End of last month, my little baby girl became a teenager. It is hard to believe that 13 years have passed since I became Mom and had my priorities and perspective on life shift. What a crazy journey it has been. HB is becoming such an amazing young girl – so fearless and full of confidence. I love watching her – and seeing how she evaluates situations and challenges herself constantly. She is so much bolder than I was at her age.
When HB was younger, she called me a Fun Murderer. In hereeyes, I was not fun in her eye whenever I told her she couldn’t do something she wanted to do – for whatever reason – I was murdering fun. She doesn’t say that much anymore – it has now turned into the infamous eye rolling any time I annoy her. Her teenage years are bound to be full of moments of her parents embarrassing and annoying her.
Time flies for sure and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for both of us. I’m having the best time being her Mom.
Happy Valentine’s Day – I would prefer to call today Kindness Day! As I have said, I don’t need a day set aside to show my love for my husband and my family. The real moments where we show care and kindness are the ones that matter to me. When Scott notices my phone isn’t on the charger and puts it on there or when my kids help me out just because they know I would appreciate it are things that speak to me and affirm that I am loved.
To celebrate I am going to Kill Today With Kindness. Any opportunity to be nice or help someone else out -I am going to do it. Heck, every day should be kindness day. If you set your intentions on that each morning, it certainly makes it an attainable goal.
- 7 Simple Steps To Lower Your Stress (No Meditation Or Exercise Required)
- The Heart Attack and Depression Link
Boxing: 1 Hour
This weekend is Valentine’s Day if you didn’t already know. My friend shared this really meaningful post this morning: The One True Thing About the Perfect Valentine’s Date that I want everyone to read. “Love doesn’t seek a perfect moment; it seeks a real moment.”
There is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage. No relationship is perfect even if it looks that way on the outside and especially via social media. Relationships between two people – whether lovers, friends, family, co-workers- is work. We all come from different places in our lives, have had different experiences, have different filters to process what is going on. All of those factors create different perspectives. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. But, for me – once I realized fairy tale relationships don’t exist, my world became calmer. I stopped having these insurmountable expectations of how things are supposed to be… and let them just be.
Which explains why I am perfectly OK with my husband heading off on a guy’s trip over this Valentine’s Day weekend. I believe that every day is an opportunity to show love for someone. It’s the little things that count when it comes right down to it. I don’t need one day a year as proof that someone loves me. Yes, acknowledgment of the day is cool but as a grown up, if I need flowers or a present – i go and buy them. Don’t get me wrong – it’s nice when the hubby surprises me with something but it’s more the fact that he was thinking of me or something reminded him of me and that he made the effort. Those are the moments that mean something to me – more than a designated marketing day to show love. For example, when I get up super early to workout and I head downstairs to find that he pre-made coffee and it’s waiting for me – that matters.
20 Double Unders
Tabata Something Else
I was sincerely touched by all of the people in my life & social sphere (in person and online) that took time out of their day to wish me a Happy Birthday yesterday. I don’t really grasp the reach and impact the stuff I share and the digital media work I do – and it becomes clear on a day like yesterday.
I started my day off with some exercise. Each year I make sure to get a workout in on my big day — to thank my own body for being so dependable. And to make it even more fun, my dear friend Maria bought me a tiara and a “real women box’ tank to wear for the occasion. And yes, I wore that tiara throughout the entire workout!
Then I headed into work – and went out for a steak dinner in the evening. Nothing extra fancy but a great day overall. My kids made me some spectacular gifts and Scotty was attentive as always. When your life is good – what more can you ask for?
- Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee- Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant on Women Doing ‘Office Housework’
- Early music training prevents loss of listening skills later in life
It’s been a good thing for me to step back and really just breathe the past two weeks. I had some family in town, got to enjoy some unencumbered downtime, got my fitness on and just allowed myself to “BE’. There are some big changes in store for me this month that I will share in the next week or so –and I think they are all really good things!!
I have often mentioned how you need to step outside of your comfort zone to really make change happen. With the new year starting, I have started seeing a lot of talk about CHANGE. Change does not just happen though. You have to act, choose, and think differently. And that is where the danger zone is. It’s foreign and uncomfortable to do that. We are so many times driven by fear. What will happen if I do this or that? We fall into what Tony Blauer calls a “fear loop”. And it can paralyze us into inaction. When you feel the fear start to creep and start to take over, that’s when you need to step up and combat it. That takes practice and focus just like any other skill you want to hone. And that of course is also uncomfortable –so don’t fall into the loop of fear and stay in an unhappy, unhealthy situation. Let’s make 2015 OUR YEAR!
- Why Getting Uncomfortable is the Key to Personal Growth
- New Year’s Resolutions? Make a list, get it done
- 4 Simple Goal Setting Ideas For 2015
I appreciate a free lunch like anyone else out there – but when you make healthy eating a priority, a free lunch doesn’t really mean much.
A few weeks ago, I was attending an in-house two day training session for work. Apparently, my company provides lunch when all day training is scheduled. Being new, I didn’t know that – and because I am used to being a ‘picky’ eater, I am perfectly fine providing my own lunch – no issue at all.
Before arriving on my first day of training, I stopped off at Wegmans and picked up a salad. Lunch was provided for the rest of the group and it was the standard: Sandwiches, salad with croutons and cheese, a cream based soup and cookies and brownies for dessert. Needless to say, I was happy with my salad even though it provoked a ton of comments and questions about my food preferences. All was right with the world.
Before the end of day one, the lady in charge of ordering asked me what my food preferences were. She seemed to not even grasp the idea of a food allergy if you ask me but I told her nonetheless. I mentioned I don’t eat foods with gluten or dairy and suggested a salad as a good option if she were able to order something for me. She wrote it down and said ‘no problem’.
I didn’t stop for salad the next morning – why would I? Well – I should have known better. Lunchtime came around – the lunch order arrived. Guess what was waiting for me? A bowl of lettuce – and to add insult to injury, with grated Parmesan cheese mixed in. I am not even joking – a BIG BOWL OF LETTUCE – iceberg lettuce!! I looked at the lady and she just shrugged and said I told them you didn’t eat gluten and walked away.
I don’t need to be coddled. I am perfectly fine fending for myself when it comes to my food preferences, but when someone says they are going to take care of something, I figure – they will take care of it. Silly me – I was even more annoyed that the lady didn’t give a shit afterwards. Who the hell eats a bowl of lettuce and calls that lunch? Would she be ok with that for her lunch? Anyways …
Today my company held holiday lunch. There was nothing for me to eat. Not a huge deal, since I brought my lunch but it just seems to me when you are providing for a large group of people – at least a few of them would need some other options than fried, breaded, cream based foods. The salad they offered had cheese all over it again as well – there was absolutely not one thing offered that I could eat. As I said, I wasn’t expecting different but it made me think about a few things…
- You can’t please everyone – I get that. However, if you are in charge of putting together a luncheon/dinner/party– at least consider those with food allergies or preferences. Salads (beyond just a bowl of lettuce) are great. Just offer the cheese and croutons on the side.
- Corporate America eats like shit. There was not even a crudité fruit platter offered instead of cookies/brownies for dessert.
Anyway, that’s my PSA for the day…
I wonder if this list of The 44 Healthiest Companies to Work For in America has the same problem?
What is it about the holiday season that can make some people depressed? Could it be the darkness of winter that sets in or the reality of how fast time flies or memories of holidays past? Or maybe the combo of it all… I am feeling so blah – nothing really excites me lately including my workouts. My focus on eating healthy has been so compromised lately that I wouldn’t be surprised if most of my clothes stop fitting. And like most of us, I know what I need to do – it’s the doing it that’s tough for sure.
I have been starting to use my light therapy lamp at work when I first get in to the office in the morning. My dr recommended getting one a few years ago and I definitely think it helps – I have the Lightphoria Energy Light Lamp
“Bright light has been used for over a decade to alleviate symptoms associated with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), jetlag, shift work fatigue, insomnia, seasonal change and more. Light therapy offers a convenient and effective way of making up for the lack of light, without the need of medication. Lightphoria light therapy lamp uses very bright lights up to 10,000 lux to simulate natural sunlight whilst eliminating the dangerous UV rays. Place it 12-24 inches away from you while you read, watch TV, and work on your computer. 20-30 minutes each morning is all it takes to significantly improve energy levels and regulate sleep patterns.”
And watch this video — it will help you realize how blessed and thankful many of us are…