As I spent time yesterday reading about Robin Williams, it became clear how judgmental some people insist on being. Who are we to judge someone else’s actions? We were not in his shoes at that moment or the ones that led up to it. All I can imagine is the immense pain he must have felt to actually want to die. One blogger wrote about how selfish he was by taking his own life. Another wrote about how it was a choice he decided to make. I am not a doctor nor super educated in depression – I have felt very low during periods of my life and can attest to the fact that you aren’t necessarily capable of making rational, clear decisions. The decisions you make are filtered by what you are feeling and thinking every second of every day, so if you are depressed or happy – it influences your actions.
The actions you take while you are in the throws of Mr D. seem rational at the time. They seem like the only logical choice to make that will help you feel better and stop the pain. Regardless, we have no room to judge what Robin Williams decided to do. Is it something you would do? I hope not. Do I wish he had not done it? Absolutely. I feel sad but realize that I can not comment on someone else’s journey and no one else should feel as if they are entitled to either. We really need to take a look at our society as a whole and find ways to be kinder and act with more compassion. We are all here for a short time…
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Robin Williams was a big part of all of our lives — his movies are classics that we all relate to and remember which is why many of us are feeling this loss deeply. What I have learned over the years is depression threads its way into every atom of your being and can lay dormant for many years. Life goes on, great things happen to you and then something will trigger it and a downward spiral starts. There are chances to catch it before it drags you too far down. But sometimes, it can come on suddenly, without warning and it’s powerful. So powerful that you can’t grab hold and pull yourself back up.
A few years ago, I read Rick Springfield’s autobiography Late, Late at Night. It is an honest account of his own battle with depression – referring to it as “Mr. D”. He still battles it as it creeps back into his life when he least expects it and has crippled him and brought him to the brink of wanting to die many times over the course of his life. If you get a chance to read it, do. It’s an eye opener about what lies underneath some of the public celebrities we all know and admire.
My heart is heavy today as I think about how Mr. Williams must have felt yesterday as his Mr. D took charge – and took his life. Depression is not something to be hide. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a very real state that can lead its sufferers feeling powerless.
Get Help. Talk to someone. Be Open to the different treatments. Be a friend. Be Kind and offer a shoulder to lean on.
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- Don’t Let Darkness Grow
My yoga instructor Tori continued the theme of Aparigraha (Non-Possessiveness) in yesterday’s class. According to wiki, Aparigraha “is the concept of non-possessiveness or non-greediness. The term usually means to limit possessions to what is necessary or important, which changes with the time period.”
I am getting a lot out of this theme personally. I have needed to de-clutter my house as well some long held beliefs and resentments that are not doing me any good at this point in my life. It’s not easy to just let go – it takes time to work through whatever caused you to hold on to it in the first place. I need to find time to go through all the closets in my house and get rid of clothes that don’t fit or that I don’t wear anymore. My closets are overflowing with unworn clothes that will probably never see the light of day, so why am I holding on to them? (rhetorical question of course!)
We all have things and beliefs in our lives that have been around for far too long. A sweater that you loved 10 years ago? A perception of who you are and why you can’t just drop everything and let loose… Things we hold on to in our life that may or may not serve us anymore. How often do we take a look at all “stuff” and clean house?
Think about de-cluttering or spring cleaning – it helps us feel more open to fresh ideas and refreshed and renewed – at least I know that’s how I feel! Tori suggested wearing our beliefs like loose clothing – where you aren’t constricted or constrained by them. You have the freedom to move, shift and let go of things that are holding us back.
By embracing the idea of Aparigraha, we can start to understand how our stuff controls us. We all want to live comfortably, but when you start to hold on to things (ie hoard) and/or obsess over what you have/don’t have, it starts to take control. This is also true when it comes to our opinions, habits and perceptions. We all need to regularly look over both the physical and internal stuff we are holding on to and get rid of the junk!
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Neil Young Sings “Fancy” with Crosby, Stills & Nash
I don’t want to post anything today other than information about the Hobby Lobby decision by the Supreme Court. A facebook friend shared:
Hobby Lobby wins in a NARROW RULING….but here’s a thought…
Here is the slightly glossed-over rank hypocrisy of Hobby Lobby, in one sentence:
“They will cover male contraception, in the form of a vasectomy.”
Unlike female oral contraception (“The pill”), which have also been used to treat other medical conditions, such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, amenorrhea, menstrual cramps, adenomyosis, menorrhagia (excessive menstral bleeding), menstruation-related anemia and dysmenorrhea (painful menstruation), vasectomy has no other medical indications besides birth control.
I completely agree with Justice Ginsberg and her take on how wrong this decision was — It’s a very scary day in this country when Five White Conservative Men decide what’s best for a woman’s reproductive health.
A few things and thoughts to share today –
My thoughts and respect are given to Maya Angelou who passed away yesterday. What a wonderful, inspiring, strong, spirited leader who left this world a better place. She defines what it means to leave a lasting legacy…
“So here’s what I recommend to everyone. Live the life that makes YOU the happiest. Whether that’s paleo, gluten free, pure gluten, CrossFit, jazzercise, marriage, single, muscular, skinny, really whatever. I don’t care. It’s your life. Do what makes YOU the best kind of person. Not because other people do it, but because you love it. And while you’re at it, try to keep your negative comments to yourself. No, don’t try. Just do it.”
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Wednesday: Power Boxing
Thursday: Rest Day
It was a good weekend — the weather was awesome, my family was home, my good friend, LIz, had her baby and I spent time with one of my dearest friends – Lani. I’ve been feeling unsettled with all the changes going on and needed to be around someone who really understands me outside of my hubby. Girls need girl time! We sat around, talked, drank some wine and when I left, I felt better: loved and heard. It’s really awesome to have people in your life that have your back no matter what.
I get so wrapped up in my head and the thought of heading out to do something social or out of my normal routine sounds daunting. But most of the time, I am glad I did. I can’t be alone in this feeling though – so I encourage you the next time you feel down in the dumps, call a friend or make plans to do something that makes you happy. You will feel better…
Here are some other great ideas to boost your mood naturally: 10 Ways to Lift Your Spirit
And of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that nutrition has a huge effect on your spirits: 10 nutrients that can lift your spirits
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- Sunday 5.18.14 Power Boxing
- Monday 5.19.14 Power Boxing
I was thinking about the Oscars and the mundane questions that celebs get asked at events like that. I read that there was a push to ask more insightful, less looks focused questions called Ask Her More. It was funny to hear Kevin Spacey get asked questions usually reserved for the lady celebs. He was so out of his element. I get that many women out there get excited to learn about the fashion and the styles that are worn, but in recent years, it seems to have gotten out of control. Women are being treated as if they are no longer people, just models and mannequins. I appreciate a good couture look myself – however I also realize the work and illusion that goes into it. Do young girls realize it though?
Then it got me thinking about someone like Kim Kardashian. She is known and ‘famous’ because of the way she looks. It’s all tied to her beauty – what happens when that youthful beauty starts to fade? Does her entire self worth go down the drain? It’s kind of sad if you think about it – every outfit she wears, every pound she gains, every mistake she makes – gets documented good and/or bad. I don’t envy someone so tied up into their physical attributes. Does anyone know if she actually makes any sort of valuable contribution to society? I am not saying she doesn’t, but no one sure as hell talks about that. Sure, she makes a ton of money from looking the way she does, but is it worth it? There are a ton of studies out there that prove money doesn’t buy happiness. Can you imagine the constant pressure she feels to look a certain way all the time? And how hard it is to constantly be the target for cruel jokes and criticism?
I bet she will be the type of celeb that constantly tries to keep her youthful appearance by trying the latest cosmetic procedure, and end up looking like she’s trying to hard. Embrace aging — a little help is one thing but so many of these aging stars just don’t know when to quit. Anyone notice Kim Novak at the Oscars? Oy vey….
Personally, I don’t have the time nor the desire to look like a beauty queen 24/7. There is so much more to life — look your best, embrace the experiences.
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Ohio boy turns found fortune into act of kindness
100m shuttle run for time
If the predictions are right, the DC area is due for some big snow starting tomorrow night. Personally, I like having some snow on the ground. I find it forces people to slow down life a bit. However, the extra work attached to getting a big dump of snow is not welcome. My kids get stir crazy. I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but my kids aren’t the most adventurous when it comes to snow. My son will get all dressed and ready to go out — only to come in maybe 10 mins later because he’s cold. I don’t remember being like that — snow meant spending hours outside building forts, sledding, snow balls.
I just heard that Shirley Temple has died. I remember so many afternoons watching her old movies on my black and white TV. It was a part of my childhood. She was a class act throughout her life and a great example of how good parenting works. Every time I hear about someone so iconic dying, it’s another reminder for me that life goes by so fast and to make the most of each and every day.
I remember reading about how her parents took care of her, looked after her and made sure she was not exploited like so many other child actors of her day. She also was quite a trail blazer in her day – helping break the white/black stereotypes so prevalent back then.
Rest in Peace Ms. Temple.
I am once again focusing on making sure I am drinking enough water. Not only to recover from the dehydration of my partying Saturday evening but in general. I don’t drink enough and am completely not in the habit of drinking it. Starting yesterday, I have a water bottle that I am committed to emptying at least three times during the day. That will put me at about 100oz for the day. If you see me during the day at all –remind me to drink, drink, drink!
DId you know that this week is Kindness Week?
Life Lessons: RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS WEEK - What are you going to do to be kinder?
- Fitness: Register to Learn and be coached by Famed Olympic Lifting coach Bob Takano at Highbar CrossFit
- Fitness: Dave Castro and the CrossFit Games: How It Has Grown, and His One Regret
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Working on skills and body weight movements for the next few weeks, and easing off of heavy lifting.
- 200m shuttle runs 1:07 (this was brutally painful for me – my ankles felt wobbly and my asthma kicked in)
- Agility work (ladder drills)
I went a bit overboard yesterday during the big game – -ate some wings, had more chips and guacamole than I care to remember. I slept horribly and woke up feeling swollen from all the salt and groggy. It’s not a great feeling…
Super Bowl Commercials
My two favorite commercials from the Super Bowl were the horse and dog one: Puppy Love and the Coke commercial that seems to have irked some people around. I can’t for the life of me why people have an issue with it. During the first few seconds, I knew it was a Coke commercial. It reminded me of the I’d like to teach the world to sing commercial where it was representing all the different cultures, languages and people that encompass America. That is who we are — all together. Some people are so dumb…
It’s a recovery week since we did our strength testing last week…so it will be a lot of calisthenics and mobility. I’m not complaining…
Strength/Calisthenics: 4×6 Strict Pullups
Mobility: Hamstring stretch
WOD: Death by:
- 20m Shuttle runs
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The kids are finally in school and the house is quiet. I just want to sit here and enjoy the silence. As much as I love my kids and being able to spend extra time with them, there is definitely a need for space. For their benefit and mine. Enough was enough.
I was able to get some of the much needed de-cluttering done this weekend. I scheduled an appointment with gooddonor.org to pick up the stuff at my house –and almost half of a garage full of stuff will be in the hands of the Lupus Foundation before the day is through. I love the feeling I have after a good purge. I was telling someone late last week, how I finally feel like I can catch my breath now that I am not working somewhere that was suffocating me. The clearing of all the clutter in my house is a sign that I’m coming up for air and it is such a great feeling. I highly recommend getting the shit out of your life as a great way to help you feel better.
Here are a few good sites about clearing clutter:
Another way to renew and feel great is to spend time with a baby. Here is the most adorable picture of my brother and his new daughter:
Squat Clean Testing -managed a 5# PR on my squat clean -however, it wasn’t a perfect clean and I know strength wise I am capable of much more. Gotta get the technique down – practice, practice, practice.
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