I will admit fully that I am not a football fan. I’m not really into spending Sundays or Mondays watching the big game or going to any Super Bowl party for any reason related to actually watching the game. I had no idea who Ray Rice was up until recently. My husband told me he is a pretty good football player. No matter how good of an athlete he is, there is something defective about his character and his filter of the world. The brutal response to his girlfriend/wife during their argument and the resulting response and behavior of not only Rice, but of everyone involved in determining his punishment – in life and in his career once again shines light on the pervasive misogyny that happens every day all over the world.
One thing I have noticed the past day or so is that no one is really talking about how Janay Rice is feeling until I read this: The Revictimizing of Janay Rice. I get that she married him after the incident. Staying with the abuser is a common behavior of women in abusive relationships. I am not able to understand what goes through the mind of someone who is subjected to mental and physical abuse regularly, which is something I need to be reminded about when I find myself questioning how she could have gone on and married him after that. We are not in her shoes and have no room to judge her decision to do what’s best for her and her family.
- Why It’s So Hard for Men to See Misogyny: Men were surprised by #YesAllWomen because men don’t see what women experience.
- Everyone should read the powerful stories of abuse and survival in #whyistayed and #whyileft
- Joe Biden On Ray Rice: ‘The Ravens Did The Right Thing’
What I am really upset about is how the NFL as a whole has treated this case. Ray Rice got a slap on the wrist until we all saw what really happened although how many people out there thought they were having a party in that elevator for real? He dragged her out of the elevator, completely knocked out. How does anyone think she got that way? The Commissioner knew, the Leaders of the Ravens knew it — and Ray Rice knew it. But we are talking about Ray Rice the brand –the money maker. How can they possible do the right thing when it will cost them money? <insert sarcasm>
ESPN’s Keith Olbermann manages to capture the essence of the situation perfectly…
Some mornings are tougher than others and today was one of them! It’s Monday and I am tired. I keep forgetting to drink Natural Calm Magnesium and I can really tell the difference in my overall energy level. I also think that the season change isn’t helping. Fall is coming and it’s that much harder to get my butt out of bed but just like with anything -practice makes better. The allure of a comfy, warm bed is hard to combat but I found some tips to help make it easier: Tips For Keeping Motivated To Exercise This Fall. And one of the most important things you can do, in general, is get a good night’s sleep.
Here’s to a great week…
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Joan Rivers was a true pioneer and a very savvy business woman. Remember her hugely successful Jewelry Line before anyone else was doing that? RIP Joan.
My friend Liz invited me to try a new CrossFit that opened nearby for a Saturday WOD this weekend. It was a partner workout with 3 rounds of 30 OHS, 40 Pull Ups and 50 V-Ups. I have not really done any lifting for months, so the gift of OHS was felt all day Sunday for sure. I do miss parts of CrossFit but not all of it — so I have some thinking to do whether I want to sign up for a few months to see if the fire has returned. Decisions, decisions…
And of course the pull ups left me with some nasty open calluses that are very painful. I am never proud of them because I know that it means my form was definitely off. I used chalk but it was so hot in the gym that mixed with sweat, the bars were coated with a chalky paste.
Monday is Labor Day. I asked around to see if any one really knew what it was all about. Not many did, so here’s some good info about why we celebrate this holiday.
According to the US Dept of Labor site, Labor Day is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
So, if you work in the USA – you go ahead and celebrate. Without all we do – our country wouldn’t be as amazing as it is.
If this is the end for Joan Rivers, I hope it’s peaceful. She was a significant force in her field and for women. Was she crass or unkind at times? Perhaps. But I, for one, thank her for being strong and smart and funny. For a young girl growing up in stuffy Connecticut, Joan was a breath of fresh air. Her influence was far greater than she ever knew.
I’m sending good health vibes to the amazing Joan Rivers…
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Saturday CrossFit WOD
Have you had a chance to watch Jon Stewart’s brilliant response to Fox’s news coverage of Ferguson? I rarely post stuff about this sort of situation on my blog, but I really saw a different side of things after watching Jon Stewart and the Daily Show’s take on what is going on. I never really in depth wise too a look at how life is really different for black people — and now, my eyes are open.
Sleeping Is Essential For Restoration and Recovery
Switching gears, I love what this article is recommending: You Can’t Get Too Much Sleep! I love sleeping and taking naps and now I have proof it’s good for me. Essentially, the research shows that…
“The body’s major restorative functions “like muscle growth, tissue repair, protein synthesis, and growth hormone release occur mostly, or in some cases only, during sleep,” Harvard Medical School explains. It makes sense that athletes who tax their muscles more than the average person need more sleep to fix the damage. It appears that extra, above eight-hour sleep benefits athletes rather than contributing to an early demise. “You can never get ‘too much’ sleep,” University of Pennsylvania sleep researcher Dr. Sigrid Veasey wrote Outside in an email. “When you have had enough sleep you will wake up.” “
The morale of the article is to make sure you are getting enough shut eye to recover and restore. One suggestion I have is to not bring your computer or tablet into bed with you at night. It throws off your circadian rhythms and can cause issues with sleep. And no one has time for that!
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Kindness never goes out of style
I came across another wonderful story about the kindness displayed by Robin Williams. You won’t regret reading it:
I’m on Day 4 of 5, sharing what I am thankful for:
- 1. I’m thankful for my large network of good people. I’ve learned so much from them and they have helped me in so many ways over the years.
- 2. I’m thankful for salad. Any one that knows me well, knows I love me a good salad.
- 3. I’m thankful for laughter. It has gotten me through many tough situations.
- Life Lessons: The Strange & Curious Tale of the Last True Hermit (really interesting insight into how not having human companionship for years (and I mean years) can affect you)
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I came across a blog post by one of my CrossFit friends who runs Craic in MA – and it enhanced a previous blog post I wrote last week – how not judging others is one of the hardest behaviors for so many of us to do. Think about all the ways you judge things in the course of a day. A few examples like the weather, your outfit, how you feel, your hair – you make judgments on those things before you even leave you house in the morning. John writes:
“If your goal is lasting change then it’s going to take work. It doesn’t matter if you want the body of your dreams, more money in your bank account, a more fulfilling career, or in this case – to be more accepting of others for the choices they make.”
And that’s what I am trying to do — with a new job, new people to meet, I have decided to put my best foot forward and make some changes to how I react and respond in certain situations. The other day I was showing someone pictures from Facebook and they immediately made a comment about the way someone looked and I challenged them about it. It’s easy to sit back and decide who someone is without really considering what walking in their shoes may be like.
Here’s another good post about judging: Judge Not. Failing That? Learn A Lot. that may offer some insight. To be less judgmental day to day definitely takes awareness, practice and work, which is probably why many of us choose to focus on other goals.
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- Life Lessons: Use Neuroscience to Remain Calm Under Pressure
“Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul go into business together and this time it’s legal…barely. Find out what happens when Julia Louis-Dreyfus becomes a client, trying to offload television’s most coveted item, in this video starring three Emmy Award winners. ”
As I spent time yesterday reading about Robin Williams, it became clear how judgmental some people insist on being. Who are we to judge someone else’s actions? We were not in his shoes at that moment or the ones that led up to it. All I can imagine is the immense pain he must have felt to actually want to die. One blogger wrote about how selfish he was by taking his own life. Another wrote about how it was a choice he decided to make. I am not a doctor nor super educated in depression – I have felt very low during periods of my life and can attest to the fact that you aren’t necessarily capable of making rational, clear decisions. The decisions you make are filtered by what you are feeling and thinking every second of every day, so if you are depressed or happy – it influences your actions.
The actions you take while you are in the throws of Mr D. seem rational at the time. They seem like the only logical choice to make that will help you feel better and stop the pain. Regardless, we have no room to judge what Robin Williams decided to do. Is it something you would do? I hope not. Do I wish he had not done it? Absolutely. I feel sad but realize that I can not comment on someone else’s journey and no one else should feel as if they are entitled to either. We really need to take a look at our society as a whole and find ways to be kinder and act with more compassion. We are all here for a short time…
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Robin Williams was a big part of all of our lives — his movies are classics that we all relate to and remember which is why many of us are feeling this loss deeply. What I have learned over the years is depression threads its way into every atom of your being and can lay dormant for many years. Life goes on, great things happen to you and then something will trigger it and a downward spiral starts. There are chances to catch it before it drags you too far down. But sometimes, it can come on suddenly, without warning and it’s powerful. So powerful that you can’t grab hold and pull yourself back up.
A few years ago, I read Rick Springfield’s autobiography Late, Late at Night. It is an honest account of his own battle with depression – referring to it as “Mr. D”. He still battles it as it creeps back into his life when he least expects it and has crippled him and brought him to the brink of wanting to die many times over the course of his life. If you get a chance to read it, do. It’s an eye opener about what lies underneath some of the public celebrities we all know and admire.
My heart is heavy today as I think about how Mr. Williams must have felt yesterday as his Mr. D took charge – and took his life. Depression is not something to be hide. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a very real state that can lead its sufferers feeling powerless.
Get Help. Talk to someone. Be Open to the different treatments. Be a friend. Be Kind and offer a shoulder to lean on.
- Five Common Myths About Depression
- 9 Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member With Depression
- Fitness May Help Ward Off Depression in Girls
- Don’t Let Darkness Grow
My yoga instructor Tori continued the theme of Aparigraha (Non-Possessiveness) in yesterday’s class. According to wiki, Aparigraha “is the concept of non-possessiveness or non-greediness. The term usually means to limit possessions to what is necessary or important, which changes with the time period.”
I am getting a lot out of this theme personally. I have needed to de-clutter my house as well some long held beliefs and resentments that are not doing me any good at this point in my life. It’s not easy to just let go – it takes time to work through whatever caused you to hold on to it in the first place. I need to find time to go through all the closets in my house and get rid of clothes that don’t fit or that I don’t wear anymore. My closets are overflowing with unworn clothes that will probably never see the light of day, so why am I holding on to them? (rhetorical question of course!)
We all have things and beliefs in our lives that have been around for far too long. A sweater that you loved 10 years ago? A perception of who you are and why you can’t just drop everything and let loose… Things we hold on to in our life that may or may not serve us anymore. How often do we take a look at all “stuff” and clean house?
Think about de-cluttering or spring cleaning – it helps us feel more open to fresh ideas and refreshed and renewed – at least I know that’s how I feel! Tori suggested wearing our beliefs like loose clothing – where you aren’t constricted or constrained by them. You have the freedom to move, shift and let go of things that are holding us back.
By embracing the idea of Aparigraha, we can start to understand how our stuff controls us. We all want to live comfortably, but when you start to hold on to things (ie hoard) and/or obsess over what you have/don’t have, it starts to take control. This is also true when it comes to our opinions, habits and perceptions. We all need to regularly look over both the physical and internal stuff we are holding on to and get rid of the junk!
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Neil Young Sings “Fancy” with Crosby, Stills & Nash