A big challenge that I have been facing lately is confronting the fear I have felt about taking the next big step in my career. I have a lot of doubts and anxiety about whether I could handle the next level but with this new job, I decided to just jump into it. Yesterday, my brother David sent me a quote he said reminded him of what I am currently feeling:
“To be clear, the goal is to feel the emotions caused by your state of ignorance, not to dismantle them. This is because your emotions powerfully indicate that you have hit a personal boundary” Excerpt From: Jason Apollo Voss. “The Intuitive Investor.” SelectBooks, Inc., 2010. iBooks.
I need to feel the emotions because they are a symptom of a personal boundary: My doubt and lack of confidence in my experience and abilities. This year I am committed to breaking through this boundary and moving onto the next one. Life is full of personal boundaries waiting to be taken on if you think about it.
I want you to take time today and read this: Lottery Tickets: Grieving for a husband. It’s definitely not an easy read. It’s a heartbreaking story, but so beautifully written that you will be better having read it. Her story is very intimate, you can feel the heartbreak and sadness but there is also hope — it’s a reminder that life is short, family is important and love is grand.
- Do you know #howmuchsleep you need? National Sleep Foundation updates recommendations for all ages.
- Unapologetically Size 14
Boxing 1 Hour
Filmed over 12 years with the same cast, Richard Linklater’s BOYHOOD is a groundbreaking story of growing up as seen through the eyes of a child named Mason (a breakthrough performance by Ellar Coltrane), who literally grows up on screen before our eyes. Starring Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette as Mason’s parents and newcomer Lorelei Linklater as his sister Samantha, BOYHOOD charts the rocky terrain of childhood like no other film has before. Snapshots of adolescence from road trips and family dinners to birthdays and graduations and all the moments in between become transcendent, set to a soundtrack spanning the years from Coldplay’s Yellow to Arcade Fire’s Deep Blue. BOYHOOD is both a nostalgic time capsule of the recent past and an ode to growing up and parenting. It’s impossible to watch Mason and his family without thinking about our own journey. (c) Sundance Film Fest.
I watched it a few nights before the Golden Globes and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I’m not sure what it was about the story that really touched me – was it the experience I had growing up with a single parent, or the perspective that I have now as a parent watching and participating as my own kiddos mature and navigate their adolescence? The highs/lows of it — and ultimately the questions that arise like “what’s it all about if they just leave the nest?”. I often find myself glancing at my kids, being completely aware of the situation we are engaging in and noticing they seem just different to me — older maybe. The conversations we engage in have changed, their comprehension of what things mean keeps growing, their tolerance for parental affection and involvement weans. It’s great in so many ways, but heart crushing too. This movie, although not similar to my own family’s experience, brought the growing up experience to life. It was so brilliantly crafted that it didn’t matter that the story wasn’t my own. The characters were all of us – and experienced feelings we all can relate to. I thank Richard Linklater so much for having the vision and talent to make this movie – what a wonderful piece of art.
Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who loved this film – it won best director and best movie last night. Well Deserved!
It really spurred me to reflect on my own childhood and remember moments that profoundly affected me. Do you remember certain moments or experiences from your childhood that you can recall with such clarity including the emotions and thoughts? I have maybe da handful that I can attribute to thought patterns and behaviors that I still grapple with today.
Here’s some info posted in 2007, but still very relevant and helpful: 18 Habits from Childhood That Affect Our Relationships Now
Yesterday’s death of ESPN Sportscenter Stuart Scott really got to me as it has affected a lot of others out there. I have mentioned previously that many times when I hear about cancer claiming someone else, it reminds me how close my family came to the same outcome. Reminds me how thankful that I get more time with my husband. All of the news stories, recaps, tributes are wonderful but I can’t help but think about his two girls. He was their dad. He was the love of someone. He was a friend, son, mentor to many. Not just a sportscaster. A large family lost someone they loved. A real person. RIP Mr Scott. My heart and thoughts are with your family. May they find peace and quickly learn to adapt to their new normal…
Making Changes in the New Year
Happy New Year! Have you written out some goals for yourself this year yet? This weekend, I plan to sit down and quietly think about 3-4 things I want to focus on improving in my life and some ideas to help me continually step outside of my comfort zone.
One will definitely be going to the Trapeze School in DC for a class. I’m scared/nervous about it but it looks like so much fun and completely outside of my norm. So why not!
Another change I am making that will happen later this month is I am switching jobs. Over the past month, I have been exploring other career opportunities and have found one that I believe will be a great fit for me. My current job is FINE – but that’s what it is – it’s FINE. I want to be enlightened, learn new things, and have fun and make some real connections. I just have not been able to get my feet wet here – some of it due to the overall culture that has been developed over years and some of it is the industry that I am currently working in. It’s just not that energetic or vibrant, no matter how much you try to spin it.
One thing being laid off under less than ideal circumstances has taught me is that life is too short. Things will work out and even if you fail at something, you will learn from it. What I like about this new opportunity is that it will allow me to mentor a small team, come up with creative strategies to market to a niche market, and work in a small, impactful environment. It’s really the next step to mature in my career.
So there you have it – I needed to find an opportunity that was more aligned with how I see my future panning out. I’m very excited and energized to start. I’m also nervous to take this step – but I keep hearing this one particular quote in my head: Jump and a Net will Appear.
I regularly read the musings of an entrepreneur, writer James Altucher. He seems to have a really good perspective and gives good advice.
How do you prepare for a good death?
I think we live in four dimensions at the same time.
The physical world, where we can get stabbed in the heart and bleed. The emotional world, where we can get stabbed in the heart and cry.
The mental world, where we can get stabbed in the head and get demented. And the spiritual world where we get stuck living in the past, filled with regret and anxiety.
Stress is the knife of the emotional world. Stress leads to inflammation of the cells (again, I’m a doctor).
The major causes of death in the US: heart attacks, cancer, strokes, Alzheimers – all caused by inflammation. And then diseases caused by smoking. Don’t smoke.
If all you do is work on ways to reduce stress, avoid time travel (obsessing on past and future), and of course, don’t smoke, then you will start preparing for a good death.
Everyone wraps themselves in their dramas: their friends, their family, their divorces, their failures. We build up a mythology of our misery. The pantheon of people who “did this to us”.
Can you take a break from that for today? Just today please. And then maybe tomorrow. If you can’t, then text me why.
Because the truth is:
Nobody did anything to you.
Except your mother.
I did a workshop with a great life coach more than a decade ago, which focused on how people create their personal narratives, and she said she had a rule that she would only tell a story to other people 3 times and after that she’d let it go because to keep re-telling gave it far too much weight and life and kept her from moving on. I try to remember that rule when there is drama in my life; it really does minimize stress, regret and anxiety.
One of the things I loved to do when I was growing up was to watch fashion shows on TV during my weekends. I can’t remember the name of the show, but it was essentially a show of the latest runway fashions and a look at the designers. One of my all time favorite designers was Oscar De La Renta. You could tell he adored a woman’s shape and his dresses were the prettiest things I had ever seen. I haven’t thought about fashion in a very long time – but I have been trying to take a good, hard look at things that make me happy. I loved watching the artistic creations that amazing designers created –he was definitely an amazing artist. The world has lost someone very special…
When you hear about the passing of certain people, it can bring back personal memories and moments in your life. I can see myself sitting in front of my TV in my Mom’s house watching and day dreaming about being in the fashion industry. Of course that wasn’t how my life did turn out but that’s OK. After hearing about his passing, I came across this post: The Best Part Of Life Is Realizing Why It’s Better That Things Didn’t Work Out that really seemed to put things into perspective. Read it and I’m sure you will agree…
I’ve been so tired getting used to my new routine with full time work so I decided to try going to some evening workout classes instead of getting up super early in the AM. I’m not sure if I like working out so late in the day – I prefer to get it over with before my full day starts but just like circumstances change, my workout routine needs to be re-evaluated from time to time.
Since I was burned out from CrossFit for a while, I want to make sure that I am listening to all the signs my body is giving me and add variety to my overall routine, which includes taking extra rest days here and there. I had dinner with a friend this weekend. We were talking about taking our age into account when we create expectations from our workout routine. She and I both agree that we just can’t recover enough when we do heavy HIIT and some strength training 5 times a week.
I think that’s what contributed to my burnout and constant shoulder impingement. I am finding boxing a good mix –of cardio and body weight and am still looking to add in barbell work to a lesser degree. As much as I want to keep up with the young’ens that I workout with, I have to realize that it’s just not physically possible. Don’t get me wrong – I am still pretty kickass in shape but I just need to refocus and reset what I expect to get out my workouts. And also figure out a way to add my yoga sessions back in — I miss them terribly.
On a different note: The sunset pic I took last night had no filter. It looked like a painting but it was real. It was breathtakingly gorgeous and it reminded me that I need to stop and appreciate the beauty around me.
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Be inspired by this young kid: High School football player offers the best post-game motivational speech ever
(lost the first 15mins of data so add approx 200cal)
I will admit fully that I am not a football fan. I’m not really into spending Sundays or Mondays watching the big game or going to any Super Bowl party for any reason related to actually watching the game. I had no idea who Ray Rice was up until recently. My husband told me he is a pretty good football player. No matter how good of an athlete he is, there is something defective about his character and his filter of the world. The brutal response to his girlfriend/wife during their argument and the resulting response and behavior of not only Rice, but of everyone involved in determining his punishment – in life and in his career once again shines light on the pervasive misogyny that happens every day all over the world.
One thing I have noticed the past day or so is that no one is really talking about how Janay Rice is feeling until I read this: The Revictimizing of Janay Rice. I get that she married him after the incident. Staying with the abuser is a common behavior of women in abusive relationships. I am not able to understand what goes through the mind of someone who is subjected to mental and physical abuse regularly, which is something I need to be reminded about when I find myself questioning how she could have gone on and married him after that. We are not in her shoes and have no room to judge her decision to do what’s best for her and her family.
- Why It’s So Hard for Men to See Misogyny: Men were surprised by #YesAllWomen because men don’t see what women experience.
- Everyone should read the powerful stories of abuse and survival in #whyistayed and #whyileft
- Joe Biden On Ray Rice: ‘The Ravens Did The Right Thing’
What I am really upset about is how the NFL as a whole has treated this case. Ray Rice got a slap on the wrist until we all saw what really happened although how many people out there thought they were having a party in that elevator for real? He dragged her out of the elevator, completely knocked out. How does anyone think she got that way? The Commissioner knew, the Leaders of the Ravens knew it — and Ray Rice knew it. But we are talking about Ray Rice the brand –the money maker. How can they possible do the right thing when it will cost them money? <insert sarcasm>
ESPN’s Keith Olbermann manages to capture the essence of the situation perfectly…
Some mornings are tougher than others and today was one of them! It’s Monday and I am tired. I keep forgetting to drink Natural Calm Magnesium and I can really tell the difference in my overall energy level. I also think that the season change isn’t helping. Fall is coming and it’s that much harder to get my butt out of bed but just like with anything -practice makes better. The allure of a comfy, warm bed is hard to combat but I found some tips to help make it easier: Tips For Keeping Motivated To Exercise This Fall. And one of the most important things you can do, in general, is get a good night’s sleep.
Here’s to a great week…
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