A big challenge that I have been facing lately is confronting the fear I have felt about taking the next big step in my career. I have a lot of doubts and anxiety about whether I could handle the next level but with this new job, I decided to just jump into it. Yesterday, my brother David sent me a quote he said reminded him of what I am currently feeling:
“To be clear, the goal is to feel the emotions caused by your state of ignorance, not to dismantle them. This is because your emotions powerfully indicate that you have hit a personal boundary” Excerpt From: Jason Apollo Voss. “The Intuitive Investor.” SelectBooks, Inc., 2010. iBooks.
I need to feel the emotions because they are a symptom of a personal boundary: My doubt and lack of confidence in my experience and abilities. This year I am committed to breaking through this boundary and moving onto the next one. Life is full of personal boundaries waiting to be taken on if you think about it.
I want you to take time today and read this: Lottery Tickets: Grieving for a husband. It’s definitely not an easy read. It’s a heartbreaking story, but so beautifully written that you will be better having read it. Her story is very intimate, you can feel the heartbreak and sadness but there is also hope — it’s a reminder that life is short, family is important and love is grand.
- Do you know #howmuchsleep you need? National Sleep Foundation updates recommendations for all ages.
- Unapologetically Size 14
Boxing 1 Hour
Today marks my third week at my new gig and although I am still very green with knowledge, I’m feeling at home. There is a ton of work to be done and I have the opportunity to make a real difference to the company. I was thinking this weekend, that I feel better. I’m starting to re-engage with some things that were losing my interest which to me is a sign of things getting set straight in my life.
Now for the brutal honesty – my focus on eating has gone way off the deep end. I can’t really even say I am following paleo at this point. I’m kinda all over the place. I know what I need to do but finding the drive to do it has been tough the past few months. I’m not going to lie either – it has affected my waist line too. I will need to really stop and listen to figure out what’s really going on with me. Why am I ignoring what I know I need to do? It’s not that the food is so delicious that I can’t control myself –it’s not about the food.
- Saturday: CrossFIt
- Sunday: Boxing
You know the saying be careful what you ask for?… well, I am living that right now. I am so busy at work – learning the business and the people that I am left exhausted at night. It’s all great stuff and I feel excited and energized by all I am learning but there is definitely an element of fear I am experiencing. All the What ifs start to creep into my head and I start to doubt my experience and my abilities. I am taking a different approach this time though..When I feel fear creeping up, I stop, take a deep breathe and remember that I not only don’t have to solve it all at once, but I don’t have to solve it alone. It has seemed to help alleviate some anxiety and worry although I have been waking up in the middle of the night thinking. But as I said – it’s not the dreaded fear but the excited one, the where do I start sort that tends to rev me up. And I remind myself that it’s all a part of learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable – which tends to be synonymous with change…
- How to Practice Being Comfortable in Uncomfortable Situations
- 7 Ways to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Over the weekend, I did a smorgasbord o fitness activities to spice things up. Friday night I hit a boxing class. On Saturday, I headed to Ashburn CrossFit and did a spicy metcon that consisted of wall balls, burpee pull ups and abmat situps and Sunday, my friend Maria and I tried out a new cycle place Cycle Scene and took a 60 min cycling class that challenged my cardio for sure. Thank heavens for like minded friends who are up to try out new fitness challenges with me. It keeps it fun and challenging at the same time. A few weeks ago, a coworker stopped by my desk to marvel at how active I am on the weekends. It was funny to him but to me – I didn’t get his astonishment at all. One hour each day isn’t much time to devote to my health and it’s better for my family overall if Momma is in a good mood.
I started my new job yesterday –and it’s quite a bigger role than I have had before which means I am responsible for a lot more than ever and will be able to learn a lot more than ever. Although it scares me, it also excites me. The past two days I have been flooded with a ton of information — and with all that in my head, I have been exhausted. For a moment today, I started to feel overwhelmed and scared that maybe I bit off more than I can chew. I started to doubt my experience — then recognized what I was doing, took a moment, took a breathe and told myself to calm down. I don’t have to solve it all at once or alone…
With all this change, I know I need to make sure my fitness doesn’t suffer. I got up for my 6A class to start my day as usual and I felt so much better…
- 7 WAYS TO MAKE WAKING UP FOR AM WORKOUTS EASIER
- Vitamin D: Literally Everything You Need to Know
- Even for the active, a long sit shortens life and erodes health
While I love boxing, I find that I am missing lifting big time. There is something about lifting a barbell that speaks to me. It’s been almost seven months since I have lifted consistently and my shoulders have all but recovered. To help satisfy my lifting bug, I joined CrossFit Ashburn. I have decided that I am going to do both boxing and CrossFit. I think that doing 5x a week of either may be just more than my body can handle – so I am going to see how to fit in the best of both and maybe throw in some cycling and yoga in the mix as well.
The long break was good — I was burned out for sure and it was starting to feel like a chore to show up every day. Being fit is a lifestyle and you have to do stuff you enjoy with people you love being around. That’s the real key to making it all work. When one of those is out of whack – well it doesn’t work well.
Today’s workout was a challenging chipper, but unlike the old me who would have pushed to do Rx- I lowered the weight and modified some of the Rx. I could absolutely tell I haven’t lifted in a while and that’s OK. I got through the chipper and felt like I got a good workout, which is what it’s all about. Here’s what it was…
Run 200 meters (20/14 med ball)
10 Med ball front squat
10 Med ball clean & split jerk
10 Med ball sit up
10 Wall ball
21 shoulder to overhead (115/75)
100 Double Unders
15 shoulder to overhead (135/95)
50 Double Unders
9 shoulder to overhead (155/115)
25 Double Unders
One more thought to share from the Golden Globes – Maggie Gyllenhaal talked about complicated women and how we are all complicated when it comes down to it. I love that way of putting it – complicated does not have to be negative. I am proud to be complicated – to me it means being interesting, smart, engaging, emotional, passionate, funny, compassionate, and strong. And I would rather be that any day of the week than easy. And Hats off to men who love complicated women!
“When I look around the room at the women who are in here and I think about the performances that I’ve watched this year, what I see actually are women who are sometimes powerful and sometimes not,” she said in her acceptance speech. “Sometimes sexy, sometimes not. Sometimes honorable, sometimes not. And what I think is new is the wealth of roles for actual women in television and in film.”
Today was my last day at XO. While my stay there was short, six months, I learned a lot and met some smart, sharp people. With that said -the role I had wasn’t a good fit for me. It was fine — but not challenging or engaging for me and I just don’t want to accept mediocre anymore. It’s time for me to jump into something new, challenging and fun. I have a few days off before I start on Monday. Here’s to new adventures – fear ain’t got nothing on me.
My sisters shared with me that each year they decide upon a mantra to carry them throughout the year. To motivate, guide and inspire them. A mantra differs from a resolution in that it’s word or short phrase that is repeated mentally, often used to aid in meditation. It can help set your intentions and re-focus so that you develop the habits and become the You you envision. Maybe you want to uncuff yourself from fear or be kinder. Whatever it is – choose it and refer to it often to help reset your thoughts.
Filmed over 12 years with the same cast, Richard Linklater’s BOYHOOD is a groundbreaking story of growing up as seen through the eyes of a child named Mason (a breakthrough performance by Ellar Coltrane), who literally grows up on screen before our eyes. Starring Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette as Mason’s parents and newcomer Lorelei Linklater as his sister Samantha, BOYHOOD charts the rocky terrain of childhood like no other film has before. Snapshots of adolescence from road trips and family dinners to birthdays and graduations and all the moments in between become transcendent, set to a soundtrack spanning the years from Coldplay’s Yellow to Arcade Fire’s Deep Blue. BOYHOOD is both a nostalgic time capsule of the recent past and an ode to growing up and parenting. It’s impossible to watch Mason and his family without thinking about our own journey. (c) Sundance Film Fest.
I watched it a few nights before the Golden Globes and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I’m not sure what it was about the story that really touched me – was it the experience I had growing up with a single parent, or the perspective that I have now as a parent watching and participating as my own kiddos mature and navigate their adolescence? The highs/lows of it — and ultimately the questions that arise like “what’s it all about if they just leave the nest?”. I often find myself glancing at my kids, being completely aware of the situation we are engaging in and noticing they seem just different to me — older maybe. The conversations we engage in have changed, their comprehension of what things mean keeps growing, their tolerance for parental affection and involvement weans. It’s great in so many ways, but heart crushing too. This movie, although not similar to my own family’s experience, brought the growing up experience to life. It was so brilliantly crafted that it didn’t matter that the story wasn’t my own. The characters were all of us – and experienced feelings we all can relate to. I thank Richard Linklater so much for having the vision and talent to make this movie – what a wonderful piece of art.
Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who loved this film – it won best director and best movie last night. Well Deserved!
It really spurred me to reflect on my own childhood and remember moments that profoundly affected me. Do you remember certain moments or experiences from your childhood that you can recall with such clarity including the emotions and thoughts? I have maybe da handful that I can attribute to thought patterns and behaviors that I still grapple with today.
Here’s some info posted in 2007, but still very relevant and helpful: 18 Habits from Childhood That Affect Our Relationships Now
Baby it’s cold outside – like 8 degrees without the windchill. Talk about a polar vortex in the Northern VA area. I swear last week, it was in the 60’s. Such crazy weather shifts, it’s no wonder I can’t seem to get over this chest crud cold I have had since right before the new year. You know what helps break up the crud? Exercise! This morning – we did a bunch of suicides and sprints in addition to 8 rounds of boxing. By the end, I was hacking up my lungs which was actually a good thing because it is clearing the gunk out.
Did you know there are some recent studies that show being cold can actually lead to weight loss and improved health? The Atlantic recently published, The Benefits of Being Cold, highlighting that perhaps year round warmth, something many of us enjoy regularly, may be affecting our body weight and health. Read the piece – it makes a lot of sense “Seven million years of evolution were dominated by two challenges: food scarcity and cold.” Today, for most of us, neither of those things are real challenges to us on a regular basis and our bodies adapt to changes – some for the better, some for the worse. So, while it’s frightfully cold outside – take time to appreciate being chilly and realize that it’s perhaps better for you.
- Adrenal Fatigue: My Advice To Anyone Suffering From Adrenal Fatigue
- Exercise and Youth: How Exercise Keeps Us Young
“The beautiful thing about growth is the ability to see our changes.”
Yesterday’s death of ESPN Sportscenter Stuart Scott really got to me as it has affected a lot of others out there. I have mentioned previously that many times when I hear about cancer claiming someone else, it reminds me how close my family came to the same outcome. Reminds me how thankful that I get more time with my husband. All of the news stories, recaps, tributes are wonderful but I can’t help but think about his two girls. He was their dad. He was the love of someone. He was a friend, son, mentor to many. Not just a sportscaster. A large family lost someone they loved. A real person. RIP Mr Scott. My heart and thoughts are with your family. May they find peace and quickly learn to adapt to their new normal…
Making Changes in the New Year
Happy New Year! Have you written out some goals for yourself this year yet? This weekend, I plan to sit down and quietly think about 3-4 things I want to focus on improving in my life and some ideas to help me continually step outside of my comfort zone.
One will definitely be going to the Trapeze School in DC for a class. I’m scared/nervous about it but it looks like so much fun and completely outside of my norm. So why not!
Another change I am making that will happen later this month is I am switching jobs. Over the past month, I have been exploring other career opportunities and have found one that I believe will be a great fit for me. My current job is FINE – but that’s what it is – it’s FINE. I want to be enlightened, learn new things, and have fun and make some real connections. I just have not been able to get my feet wet here – some of it due to the overall culture that has been developed over years and some of it is the industry that I am currently working in. It’s just not that energetic or vibrant, no matter how much you try to spin it.
One thing being laid off under less than ideal circumstances has taught me is that life is too short. Things will work out and even if you fail at something, you will learn from it. What I like about this new opportunity is that it will allow me to mentor a small team, come up with creative strategies to market to a niche market, and work in a small, impactful environment. It’s really the next step to mature in my career.
So there you have it – I needed to find an opportunity that was more aligned with how I see my future panning out. I’m very excited and energized to start. I’m also nervous to take this step – but I keep hearing this one particular quote in my head: Jump and a Net will Appear.