When is it good enough?

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There are just not enough hours in the day to get everything I want done lately. I had almost a year ‘off’ from the corporate life, which meant that I could take care of things on the regular. Now that I am back working full time, in an office, it has been challenging to adjust what needs to get done. And I have been finding it hard to spark up the energy to do some of the ‘other’ things – like write. But I am not a quitter, and I know that the spark with reignite if I keep at it.

As I am trying to juggle all of the things in my life, I keep asking myself When is it good enough?   

When Scotty got sick, I gave up the idea of an organized, super clean house. It just wasn’t possible and that has stuck years later. There is always a basket of laundry needing to get done and one needing to be folded in my house. There will always be stuff on my kitchen counters. I realized that my house has four different people living in it – and I can’t keep up. It just isn’t that important in the grand scheme of my life.  And my house is clean enough…

The other day I was looking at some old pics, before I started working out. I noticed how different how much stronger and better I look now comparatively. But yet, I find myself thinking I’m not good enough. My fitness level is not where it should be, my body doesn’t look like I think it should. In all fairness, I own that I have slacked off being 80% Paleo. I am more 60% now –and I can see the differences and it’s been gnawing at me. I am aware that I am my own harshest critic. I am also not the kind of person to sit back and wallow. I need to be challenged and seek out opportunities to learn, so I will never be able to just settle. But – will there ever come a time when I will be able to acknowledge how far I have come?

Which makes seeing untouched pics of ‘famous’ people re-affirming…

Boxing Buddies

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Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.Dalai Lama

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  • Tues: Boxing: 1 Hour
  • Weds: CrossFit: 1 Hour

 

Happy Valentine’s Day: Kill It With Kindness

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Happy Valentine’s Day – I would prefer to call today Kindness Day! As I have said, I don’t need a day set aside to show my love for my husband and my family. The real moments where we show care and kindness are the ones that matter to me. When Scott notices my phone isn’t on the charger and puts it on there or when my kids help me out just because they know I would appreciate it are things that speak to me and affirm that I am loved.

Kindness To celebrate I am going to Kill Today With Kindness. Any opportunity to be nice or help someone else out -I am going to do it. Heck, every day should be kindness day. If you set your intentions on that each morning, it certainly makes it an attainable goal.

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Boxing: 1 Hour

Tween Girls: Why Do They Have to Lose Confidence?

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Do you ever think about the things you liked to do as a kid? Do you remember how often you had art class?  How you were given time to be creative and innovative?

10374198_10152142761973741_2036474420_nI used to write plays when I was in grade school. They weren’t long or elaborate, but I loved making up stories. I also loved to act. I took acting classes for years – and then – the tweens. I lost confidence, had trouble fitting in, gained a ton of weight, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV. I lost touch with all those of the creative things I loved to do and it’s been a struggle to find them again.  Growing up, my Mom was a single divorced mom – before so many other parents divorced, and she worked a lot.  My sister and I didn’t have a lot of parental oversight to push us to get our butts outside and play and she wasn’t able to take us to after school activities. It’s not a matter of blaming, it’s just the way it was.  Once I hit my teens,  I was picked on incessantly and was very lonely. I am sure today – I would be considered medically ‘depressed’, but back then – it was considered a stage I was going through.

As a mom now, I see a shift in my own tween-age daughter – her interest in her looks and fitting in started a year or so and it seems to be intensifying. I am thankful that she’s not the target of bullies or mean girls, but she has mentioned that she’s doesn’t think she’s popular and doesn’t have a lot of friends. Wearing my Mom hat,  I talk to her about quality vs quantity of friends and offer her words of encouragement because heck, I like her! The reality is though, there are so many outside influences on our daughters that I feel sometimes it’s hard to overcome.  Does it have to be this way for young girls today?

Do young girls have to lose their confidence and sense of empowerment just because they mature?

I’d like to think that the world has changed, but look around – some things have changed, but much has remained the same. There are so many articles and research out there detailing how young girls ultimately grow up to be women with low confidence and find they have less opportunities than male counterparts in their personal lives and careers.

Here’s a few recent articles for example:

Talking about the issue is definitely a start when it comes to addressing the problem, but more focus needs to be on teaching our daughters AND sons about valuing people – male AND female. Parents need to walk the walk/talk the talk as well. However, since men are in many positions of leadership around the world, maybe the wives and daughters out there need to put much needed pressure on the men in their lives to encourage them to lead the change.

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Valentine’s Day: Love Seeks Real Moments

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This weekend is Valentine’s Day if you didn’t already know.  My friend shared this really meaningful post this morning: The One True Thing About the Perfect Valentine’s Date that I want everyone to read.  “Love doesn’t seek a perfect moment; it seeks a real moment.”

Valentines DayThere is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage. No relationship is perfect even if it looks that way on the outside and especially via social media. Relationships between two people – whether lovers, friends, family, co-workers- is work. We all come from different places in our lives, have had different experiences, have different filters to process what is going on. All of those factors create different perspectives. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. But, for me – once I realized fairy tale relationships don’t exist, my world became calmer.  I stopped having these insurmountable expectations of how things are supposed to be… and let them just be.

Which explains why I am perfectly OK with my husband heading off on a guy’s trip over this Valentine’s Day weekend. I believe that every day is an opportunity to show love for someone. It’s the little things that count when it comes right down to it.  I don’t need one day a year as proof that someone loves me.  Yes, acknowledgment of the day is cool but as a grown up, if I need flowers or a present – i go and buy them. Don’t get me wrong – it’s nice when the hubby surprises me with something but it’s more the fact that he was thinking of me or something reminded him of me and that he made the effort. Those are the moments that mean something to me – more than a designated marketing day to show love.  For example, when I get up super early to workout and I head downstairs to find that he pre-made coffee and it’s waiting for me – that matters.

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Crowdsourcing Kindness

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Today is another opportunity to make a difference.  Even if it’s in some small way. The smallest act of kindness can make a huge change in someone’s life. Have you ever visited the Humans of New York website? I love seeing the posts every day. It’s a reminder that every one has an important and impactful story. We are all human, going through this thing called life…

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Look around the web and you will find a ton of stories of kindness and changing someone’s life. Here are two recent ones about crowd-sourcing kindness:

Approaching your daily life from a place of good intentions and kindness is a skill that needs to be practiced. It’s something you have to be aware of which reminded me of a recent post I read that asked if you were aware of your breath?

Having control of your breath can help decrease stress,  connect you to your life purpose, and help you be present in the moment. My mantra bracelet says “be here now’ – which I wear to remind me to be present and learn to enjoy what’s happening at that moment. I tend to be a rusher –wanting to head into the next experience or moment before the first one is even done. I have been working on slowing down and learning to flourish in the experience – not just wait for the experience to be over. All of that is wrapped up in fear because I am not being comfortable with instability.  But, you know what? I am finding that instability can actually inspire and motivate me to greater things!

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Birthday Wishes Warm The Heart Or Something Like That

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Boxing with AlexI was sincerely touched by all of the people in my life & social sphere (in person and online) that took time out of their day to wish me a Happy Birthday yesterday. I don’t really grasp the reach and impact the stuff I share and the digital media work I do  – and it becomes clear on a day like yesterday.

I started my day off with some exercise. Each year I make sure to get a workout in on my big day —  to thank my own body for being so dependable. And to make it even more fun, my dear friend Maria bought me a tiara and a “real women box’ tank to wear for the occasion.  And yes, I wore that tiara throughout the entire workout!

Then I headed into work – and went out for a steak dinner in the evening. Nothing extra fancy but a great day overall. My kids made me some spectacular gifts and Scotty was attentive as always.  When your life is good – what more can you ask for?

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17 of the BEST kid insults!

Kindness Matters

Woman Walking Through Target Noticed Something Out of the Ordinary Going On. So She Took a Picture. ‪#‎kindnessmatters‬

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Awaken the Beast

Twenty Years Ago

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Us 20 years agoMe, a recent University of Arizona grad starting a new job – scared and excited about the opportunities that lie ahead.

You, an Arizona native, who had started a few months earlier thanks to your Pops, who left an application on the shop’s chain link fence.

We had both been on our own for many years – navigating our twenties without any sort of plan or guidance.

Ryan introduced us – in the break room.  I remember the warmth you gave off when you smiled. I remember feeling attraction, giddiness, and curiosity.

Our first date Feb 4, 1995– Chinese food, then dancing and drinks. We found out about each other.  I can’t remember a time after that where I didn’t feel special around you.

You ‘got’ me. I ‘got’ you. Our life began to flow.

We moved to VA. Got married in Vegas. Bought the house. Adopted Scully, the dog.

Three years into our marriage, we found out we were having a baby. Neither of us had been around babies growing up. Shocked by the news, we had no idea what to expect. Our family and friends were supportive and excited for us. It was such a fun and happy time.

Hannah Bea came into this world right on her due date. Our lives would never be the same. We became parents. Two years and one month later, Nathaniel Ryan was born. A girl, a boy; our family was complete.

HoaglundsWe became increasingly busy and had more demands put on us. Family, work, and life responsibilities constantly colliding – we began to lose track of time and failed to appreciate how preciously short life can be.

We got a big wake-up call, didn’t we? Cancer reared its ugly head. We quickly shifted the gears of life and put all of our power and energy into getting you well. As with most challenges you have faced, you stepped up with determination, humor and quiet strength.  It wasn’t easy, but you did it. Cancer Free.

Our life began to flow again. A bit different than before the big ‘C’, of course, but strong and steady all the same.  We moved forward with the gift of perspective.

Today, far from perfect, we are happy. We have a sincere affection for each other, rooted in love, laughter and security. There is no one else in this world I trust more or who makes me feel more at home than you.

Twenty years ago today, a wonderful adventure began…

Hoaglunds

Hoaglunds

 

Symptoms of a Personal Boundary

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Beauty in NatureA big challenge that I have been facing lately is confronting the fear I have felt about taking the next big step in my career. I have a lot of doubts and anxiety about whether I could handle the next level but with this new job, I decided to just jump into it. Yesterday, my brother David sent me a quote he said reminded him of what I am currently feeling:

“To be clear, the goal is to feel the emotions caused by your state of ignorance, not to dismantle them. This is because your emotions powerfully indicate that you have hit a personal boundary”  Excerpt From: Jason Apollo Voss. “The Intuitive Investor.” SelectBooks, Inc., 2010. iBooks.

I need to feel the emotions because they are a symptom of a personal boundary: My doubt and lack of confidence in my experience and abilities. This year I am committed to breaking through this boundary and moving onto the next one. Life is full of personal boundaries waiting to be taken on if you think about it.

I want you to take time today and read this: Lottery Tickets: Grieving for a husband.  It’s definitely not an easy read. It’s a heartbreaking story, but so beautifully written that you will be better having read it. Her story is very intimate, you can feel the heartbreak and sadness but there is also hope — it’s a reminder that life is short, family is important and love is grand.

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Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, And Jimmy Fallon Go Head-To-Head-To-Head In Historic Lip Sync Battle: 

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It’s Not About The Food

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Flowers Today marks my third week at my new gig and although I am still very green with knowledge, I’m feeling at home. There is a ton of work to be done and I have the opportunity to make a real difference to the company. I was thinking this weekend, that I feel better. I’m starting to re-engage with some things that were losing my interest which to me is a sign of things getting set straight in my life.

Now for the brutal honesty  – my focus on eating has gone way off the deep end. I can’t really even say I am following paleo at this point. I’m kinda all over the place. I know what I need to do but finding the drive to do it has been tough the past few months. I’m not going to lie either – it has affected my waist line too.  I will need to really stop and listen to figure out what’s really going on with me. Why am I ignoring what I know I need to do? It’s not that the food is so delicious that I can’t control myself –it’s not about the food.

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  • Saturday: CrossFIt
  • Sunday: Boxing

Living Uncomfortably With Change

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You know the saying be careful what you ask for?… well, I am living that right now. I am so busy at work – learning the business and the people that I am left exhausted at night. It’s all great stuff and I feel excited and energized by all I am learning but there is definitely an element of fear I am experiencing. All the What ifs start to creep into my head and I start to doubt my experience and my abilities. I am taking a different approach this time though..When I feel fear creeping up, I stop, take a deep breathe and remember that I not only don’t have to solve it all at once, but I don’t have to solve it alone. It has seemed to help alleviate some anxiety and worry although I have been waking up in the middle of the night thinking. But as I said – it’s not the dreaded fear but the excited one, the where do I start sort that tends to rev me up. And I remind myself that it’s all a part of learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable – which tends to be synonymous with change…

cycle scene ashburn VAOver the weekend, I did a smorgasbord o  fitness activities to spice things up. Friday night I hit a boxing class. On Saturday, I headed to Ashburn CrossFit and did a spicy metcon that consisted of wall balls, burpee pull ups and abmat situps and Sunday, my friend Maria and I tried out a new cycle place Cycle Scene and took a 60 min cycling class that challenged my cardio for sure.  Thank heavens for like minded friends who are up to try out new fitness challenges with me. It keeps it fun and challenging at the same time. A few weeks ago, a coworker stopped by my desk to marvel at how active I am on the weekends. It was funny to him but to me – I didn’t get his astonishment at all. One hour each day isn’t much time to devote to my health and it’s better for my family overall if Momma is in a good mood.

Kindness Matters

14 Random Acts of Kindness to Brighten Your Monday 

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Lisbeth Darsh

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