Have you ever been around someone who reads and researches a lot about an industry or the role they play at a company or about something they are passionate about, but they don’t seem to possess the skills to actually implement or act on those ideas? If you didn’t know better, you would be super impressed by their expansive knowledge, especially when they continually drop it based on whatever they are reading at the time. Wow – they really know their stuff. But when you begin to take a more critical look, you begin question whether they really do know their stuff or are they full of hot air.
I worked with a guy like that at my last job – he was actually my boss. First impression was good. He was talking the talk – saying the right things. He seemed to be someone who “got it”. He didn’t come in like a bull in a china shop and try to dismantle or discount all the work we had done. He acknowledged the challenges and experiences the team had. I was hopeful that maybe, finally, the right kind of leader was at the helm. The right kind of leader – meaning someone who acknowledged the art and skill of content marketing and engagement. As months rolled by, I started to notice that during every meeting, whether it was a one on one or with a large group, he was always relating something he read into the discussion. While being able to take what you read and apply it to a discussion or point takes talent and is a skill, so is the ability to take what you read, apply critical thinking skills to it, and figure out how to run with it. You need to be able to follow through past the concept/idea. When you start to look at a great idea with a filter, sometimes a sound theory or point doesn’t or can’t apply. He just didn’t seem to be able to do that — but yet expected the same outcome.
I learned quite a bit working there though under the piss poor leadership including How to be Happy at Work When Everyone Else is Miserable. Although in the end, as I have shared before, it became almost impossible for me to be productive and happy there. I hung in there far too long to my own detriment, but it was a valuable lesson for me about my own self worth.
I recently found his marketing blog. I found myself scoffing at some of his posts when I compared what he wrote to the reality of his leadership. Reflecting on the time under his leadership, my team didn’t accomplish much. It was such a toxic environment that talking the fancy stuff that everyone wanted to hear was what was rewarded. That experience reminded me how important it is to apply critical thinking to what you read and advice you are given. Just because someone shares their thoughts and insights, it’s up to you to apply your experience, knowledge and circumstances on top of it and decide if it’s going to work for you.
This holds true not only for the business world but it applies to our personal lives as well. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to wellness. Which fitness program, nutritional advice, mental health approach or journey to wellness that will work for you depends on YOU. Any and all advice, situation, news, research, article, fitness approach needs to have your personal filter laid upon it.
The bottom line is you have to do something, move beyond an idea or concept. Coming up with ideas or sharing concepts is great and all, developed with the best of intentions but to get from point A to B – that takes work. You have DO SOMETHING, be a do-er, in your own career, in your own wellness journey, in your life. We all need to work on becoming idea people who can do.
Thanksgiving went by so fast – if you stop and think about it, this whole year flew by. It is now December – a month full of joy and happiness but also stress and loneliness for a lot of people. A facebook friend recently shared some perspective about life in general…
Every time I help with a funeral I leave church and go on with the rest of my weekend. At some point I say out loud I can’t believe that person is done. They are no longer here, their life is over, and here I am going to Costco or out to eat, just like any other Saturday. Today I said this and Laura said you say that every time. And every time it is true. I’m not sure what the point of this post is but I wonder if it would be good for everyone to help with a funeral. Maybe you’re smart enough to get that realization without a funeral. But handling one not for your loved one but for a stranger, so you aren’t completely broken inside, really puts the shortness, fragility, and gift of life into perspective. Makes you appreciate those errands with your family.
I feel the same way. Sometimes it hits me when I am doing mundane things – there are a ton of people battling illness, depression, debilitating phobias that are unable to do even the daily things we take for granted. Not to mention the unfathomable, unknown of death.
We are coming up on the one year anniversary of the sudden death of my friend Khal. I pass his townhouse almost every day and still find myself thinking about him. His kids are adapting to life without him, growing up and moving on. Life does indeed go on…
And once you realize how short life is, how it continues on, even after something challenging occurs, forgiveness becomes more important. We can pull from personal experience, how hard it can be to forgive someone who has done you wrong. But life is short and holding on to anger, hurt and shock serves no healthy purpose. In the past year or so, I have definitely felt mistreated by some. Whether expected or completely unexpected, in the end, does it matter how or why things were done? What’s done is done and we can choose to move forward…
This was my year to really look at aspects of my life and work on those that leave me feeling unfulfilled. Forgiveness and moving forward without anger has been a big hurdle for me in my life. I’m forever amazed at those around me that can rebuild relationships and move forward by seeing the situation for what it was. I feel so deeply that I often feel physically hurt for a period of time afterwards –and although I go on and move forward, I tend to harbor anger and resentment about it. I don’t want to hold on to that shit though. There is so much good in the world and so many good people that it really does seem like a waste to let old wounds fester…
Easier said than done, but for me I keep going back to intentions. Thinking about situations and people with the idea that they are coming from a place of good intentions…sometimes it works, sometimes not.
And with life being short, go out and have some fun. Step out of your comfort zone before the year is over…
I have added Zumba to my exercise regime. Still boxing 5x a week, but decided to do something outside of my norm once in a while. I am not a dancer but it really does help you just realize you just need to let loose and move your body.
Happy Thanksgiving! There is always something to be thankful for even when things may not be going in the most ideal way. Whether it be an opportunity to learn, to grow, or to appreciate. It’s way too easy to get wrapped up in our lives and forget how blessed and lucky so many of us are. That doesn’t mean we aren’t entitled to feel low but you have to keep things in perspective. Take today to really answer this: What Are You Thankful For?
I got up and did a 12 round boxing session to get my day started with some awesome, fun people. Im thankful for my health and fitness for sure. Some days it’s hard to get up and get it done, but at the end of the day it is so worth it.
I have always said I wouldn’t sugar coat my wellness journey – there are ups and downs. I seem to be in a valley right now…
I’m having a rough time as of late. I feel beaten up. I have just a sense of blah around most things in my life right now. I’ve been trying to sit back and reflect on it though. Could it be the mid-life crisis that people talk about?
I’m in my early 40’s, although closer to mid 40’s than I sometimes realize – I’ve been in the VA area since 1996. I’ve had ups and downs career wise. I’ve gotten married, had kids, and helped my husband battle a serious health issue. I live in a nice suburban area, own my home – my kids are fed, receiving a great education, have family that loves them. Same can be said about me – I have a great husband who is my biggest champion, my kids are amazing – so, why do I feel lonely and unfulfilled lately?
I feel unconnected and bored – not really feeling close to many people around me. I‘m having issues staying on point with my nutrition as well. I feel like a big blob and have been making excuses for eating crap.
I believe that in the idea “fake it until you make it“, surround yourself with positive people and words. Being down and being around a bunch of Debby Downer people and thoughts doesn’t do anything to help pull you out.
I saw this posted question the other day and it made me pause. It’s an interesting question to ponder.
Now that my daughter is entering her teen years and has started to experience all that goes with it, it has put me in a reflective mood. She has already begun dealing with friend drama, body image worries, and embarrassing parents. I want to let her experience things without being a helicopter parent, but also benefit from the knowledge that I have. I didn’t have a picture perfect childhood and want to do whatever I can to prevent her from experiencing some of it. I see traits in her personality that mirror mine and it worries me sometimes. I know there is only so much I can do as her mom – sigh…
As for me answering that question – I would tell myself to not let fear control my decisions. I was always so scared of being uncomfortable, craved stability and that made me so rigid. I saw things one way and that was it – wasn’t open to trying anything new and was so scared to just take a chance. How about you?
Oh and I would definitely tell myself to start exercising as an outlet for stress – I often wish I was in shape from the onset!
For those weightlifting ladies…A video from Catalyst Athletics highlighting all the awesome things weightlifting girls say…
My personal favorite line “you probably would have made that if you had a pink shirt on…”
Shit Weightlifting Girls Say…
Pomegranate seeds are antioxidant rich, and have shown to aid in the prevention of heart disease and cancer. One pomegranate contains approximately 50 percent of your daily vitamin C, as well as pantothenic acid (B5), which may help with muscle cramping and prevent insulin resistance.
I find them to be very refreshing but not in the same way a grape is. They are less sweet than a grape, akin to a cranberry but not as tart in my opinion.
Looking for a new twist on a Thanksgiving side meal? Try making a Cranberry Pomegranate Sauce…
How to Deseed a Pomegranate
I’ve shared a few interesting links the past few days about health and nutrition in case you missed them…
A few posts ago, I shared how the fact that people are getting fatter and sicker became crystal clear after my recent trip to Disney. Seeing the reality of how fat people are outside of my microcosm is still on my mind.
“People are fatter and sicker than ever before.
Obesity rates have tripled since 1980 and have increased particularly fast in children.
The reason why this has happened is still debated among scientists, but it must be due to changes in the environment because our genes don’t change this quickly.”
I ask myself regularly “what can be done?” There is no one solution that will fix the issue, there are things we can all do on the regular to take control of our own health and wellness.
Take a Sensible Approach to What You Eat
I personally have experienced how eating a “Paleo” diet does work but I do not believe that it’s a one size fits all solution. It doesn’t work for everyone – although there is sound research behind the idea that if you eat real, natural, fresh food, the less processed or handled the better, you will see clear health benefits.
Does that mean you should never, ever, ever eat say Pizza? No. Life should be about having fun and enjoying a great meal or treat. Does that mean you should eat it all the time or huge portions? No. Use common sense. I am not a hard fast follower of the Paleo diet –and in the past few years, even less so. I do know that I feel better when I stop eating crap. My digestive system, my sleep, my skin, my mood and more– improve when I focus on the quality of food and not the quantity.
But I do enjoy ice cream, pizza and caramel and think that a weekly indulgence is important too. Be sensible and aware of what you eat and how it makes you feel.
Find something you like to do and do it – regularly. If that means walking, then walk. You like Zumba? Dance your ass off. Just MOVE YOUR BODY. 2015 is around the corner, but why wait to make a change in your life. Do 100 squats, 100 push ups, and 100 sit ups every day. Whatever – I am not a fitness snob. The key is to find something you like to do and do it. Don’t pick an exercise you hate. Guess what will happen? You will stop doing it before too long. If you like working out in a group setting, find one. Don’t set yourself up to fail and start slow. You don’t feel like you can keep up in a class? Then don’t. Go at your pace.
The other day in my boxing class, I noticed one new lady was struggling to figure out the combos and getting frustrated. At the end, I just went over as a fellow boxer and reminded her that the point is to keep moving, so if she couldn’t keep up with the combos, just punch. She will get it eventually. You don’t have to be better than anyone else next to you – do the best you can. And be open to trying new things. Who knows you may find you like it.
Think and Focus on Moving Forward
No one is perfect. We have off days and slip and slide all over the place. The important point to remember is it’s NEVER too late to get back on track. And don’t let fear hold you back.
I’m going to stray from my usual theme, so be forewarned…
Earlier this week, I read a short article by Walter E. Williams, a professor of economics at George Mason University, regarding educational fraud. As many of you know, I spent seven years at K12, an online education company that offers an alternative to students who, for many different reasons, are not able to thrive in a traditional school setting.
While there are issues with the way online educational companies are being run, the issues they are trying to address are very real. And the long term effects of not addressing the needs of today’s students has serious ramifications to their future.
Professor Williams’s thoughts, which I agree with, really hit a nerve. We are not doing right by our kids.
“Focusing solely on the academic problems of blacks at the college level misses the point. It is virtually impossible to repair 12 years of rotten primary and secondary education in the space of four or five years of college … That’s evidence that primary and secondary education deficiencies have not been repaired during undergraduate years.
The academic achievement level for white students is nothing to write home about. Only 25 percent of white high-school graduates taking the 2011 ACT met its benchmarks for college readiness in all subjects for which it tests.
The high academic failure rate among blacks means one of two things. Either black students cannot learn or primary and secondary schools, parental choices, black student attitudes, and cultural values regarding education are not conducive to what young blacks need for academic excellence. Colleges admitting underperforming black students conceal, foster and perpetuate the educational damages done to these youngsters in their earlier education.”
Speaking of primary and secondary education, my county is now being forced to consider having parents pay for busing their kids to their local schools because of the drastic budget cuts being proposed. The belts are too tight as it is. Trying to squeeze blood from a turnip is going to do nothing to begin to rectify to the educational damage we have already caused our kids.
I spent the good part of this morning in a dentist chair getting drilled, polished and thoroughly entertained. Entertained you ask? Yes – I found a new dentist who is quite friendly and funny and also has the coolest most updated dental technology I have ever seen.
I have been lax in getting my butt to the dentist the past year and as I am reflecting upon how fast the year has gone by, I knew it was time to start addressing my long to do list of medical appointments that I have put off.
A friend recently said that he likens visiting the dentist to bringing your car in for service. You know once they lift the hood or in my case, once I open my mouth, it’s going to be expensive!
I have a few silver fillings which are starting to deteriorate, so those needed to be replaced. And I have a cracked tooth which needed a crown on it pronto. So that was what I was dealing with this morning – good times.
Did you know that poor oral hygiene is a contributor to many systematic diseases?
“There is strong connection between oral diseases and NCDs, namely, diabetes, cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Studies have linked periodontal disease, which is a chronic bacterial infection of the gums, with an increased risk of heart attack and stroke. Patients with diabetes who have periodontal disease have two chronic conditions, each of which may affect the other. The treatment of periodontal disease contributes positively to blood glucose control. Oral cancer is among the world’s most common cancers and tobacco use and excessive alcohol intake are the two major risk factors associated with the life threatening disease.”
“A study carried out at the University of Central Lancashire suggests that dirty teeth could be linked to Alzheimer’s disease. A study of brain samples from deceased patients with dementia showed an unusually high level of porphyromonas gingivalis, a bacteria commonly associated with gum disease.”
So, while we are all so busy whitening our teeth and making sure they enhance our beauty, there are more important reasons to ensure you take care of your teeth!