Posts tagged body image

Does She Look Bulky To You?

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I think these pictures are the way most women fear looking like if they lift weights. I am not saying that these women look good or bad — it’s just not the ideal picture of what most women out there think they want to look like and for so many, they attribute lifting heavy weights/strength training with looking like this or bulking up.

Female Body Builders: Martin Schoeller Captures A Different Face Of Beauty (PHOTOS)

Toned, tanned and rippling with muscles, these body builders present a whole new face of female beauty.

The eye-catching gallery is a collection of some of the world’s top female body builders, captured by photographer Martin Schoeller.

He said: “‘I am trying to show the vulnerability that I see and feel in the subjects when I am with them, to get to the complex emotions behind a mask of extreme physical expression.

But let me share this picture with you From the CrossFit Games site of Camille LeBlanc. Does she look bulky to you?

Think 12.2 favored the bigger athlete?  Camille Leblanc-Bazinet hit 99 reps

Your Mind: your best friend or your worst enemy

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It’s a Monday Like day for most of us after the holiday — my kids were sluggish and slow to get up and out of the house on time this morning and it was chilly on my way to workout – which means I have to dig deeper to head out the door. Today’s workout was about strength – go heavy was the overall direction given.

Warmupx3

10 Squats
10 Push Ups
5 Kick to Handstands
3 Dead Hang Pull ups
– Mobility work

Skill

Thruster

WOD

1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1
Thruster

I worked my way up to 110# and made 2 attempts with 115# but failed each time. I was so close though so I am sure it was technique more than strength! I will make it happen — with work and focus!

I want to talk about self defeating talk again because in the last 24 hours it has creeped into my own head space and that of my amazing athlete friend Lori.  First, let’s talk about my friend –

This morning as we were doing Thrusters and we hit 110#, she failed the first time but I could totally see it wasn’t because she couldn’t do it — so I said try again. She walked up to the bar and said I know I am going to have trouble with it and won’t be able to…  Guess what folks, she is right. I told her to walk away and reset her voice because most of your ability is in your mind. The Be Your Own Bodyguard seminar with Tony Blauer really drove that home for me.  You have to BELIEVE IT, WANT IT, HAVE PASSION for it. She walked away, came back ready and guess what? She lifted it. Your mind really is your best friend and worst enemy  - your choice as to which one appears.

Then there’s me with all of my negative internal talk. Scott took some pictures on Sunday of me doing some handstands –

 

All I could think about was how bulky my midsection looks –it was the first thing I thought of. I didn’t consider that there I am doing a handstand or a handstand on freakin’ kettlebells and how awesome that is, just that i looked fat. What the heck is wrong with me? Seriously. I am disappointed in myself for thinking that — but i’m being honest. Sigh…

Choosing To See Things Differently

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I am still recovering from my big party weekend but had a great workout still – upper body workouts are a specialty of mine.  I looked up at the leader board that CFI has on the board that lists top 10 athlete workout times and I am on the board with most of the workouts that focus  on the upper body. Which brings me to something that f’d with my mind a bit over the weekend…

I saw this picture and the first thing that came to my mind was how big I look. And my mind raced around all the work I do and I still look like a big bulky girl. It is not how I see myself so it really screwed me up mentally. I called my sister Dee who talked me down from all the negative self talk I was doing. A picture does not define me. I will never be a small dainty girl with tiny arms and I really have 2 choices — fat big arms or toned big arms but Big Arms are not negotiable. It’s how I am built — upper body strength, broad shoulders, tiny waist and legs and as Dee said — I have to get over this internal shit of being a chubby fat girl who is so self conscious about how I look.

I am 41 years old and still have the same insecurities that I did when I was a teen. Sad isn’t it? Part of it is — I don’t want to be a disappointment to people out there. People that see me get up early all the time and work hard on my fitness and I still don’t look like Jillian Michaels. I know that even Jillian doesn’t look like Jillian but it’s hard to get the images out of my head of what my ideal vision of fitness looks like. I don’t want people who are look at the work I do to look at a picture like that and say oh man — all that work and she looks like that. YES i know I am being an Eeyore – but sometimes I get down on my progress and where I think I should be vs. the reality of where I am. I also think there really is something to that whole body dysmorphic stuff because what I hear from my friends is not what I see many times.

I know I have to change the voices in my head — as I have written about before but it’s not like a snap of the fingers and poof they are gone. It’s constant battle and commitment to SEE things differently – to challenge the negative thoughts in my head. I have triggers and weak moments when those Eeyore thoughts are louder than the ones that drive me to push through.

We all have our triggers & I’m learning to prepare for them so I can push thru without it holding me back.

Drastic Weight Loss Measures Endanger the Young

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As a friend on Facebook said – I think people have SERIOUSLY lost their minds.

Young, obese and getting weight loss surgery

Though Shani Gofman had been teased for being fat since the fourth grade, she had learned to deal with it.

She was a B student and in the drama club at school. She had good friends and a boyfriend she had met through Facebook. She even showed off her curves in spandex leggings and snug shirts.

When her pediatrician, Dr. Senya Vayner, first mentioned weight-loss surgery, Ms. Gofman was 17, still living with her parents in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, her bedroom decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars because she was afraid of the dark.

There was no question, at 5-foot-1 and more than 250 pounds, she was overweight.

But she resisted, saying she could diet.

“I’ll lose weight,” Ms. Gofman assured her doctor.

Dr. Vayner said, prophetically, “It’s not your fault, but you’re not going to be able to do it.

Along with the obesity epidemic in America has come an explosion in weight-loss surgery, with about 220,000 operations a year — a sevenfold leap in a decade, according to industry figures — costing more than $6 billion a year. And the newest frontier is young patients like Ms. Gofman, who allowed The New York Times to follow her for a year as she had the operation and then embarked on a quest to lose weight, navigating challenges to her morale, her self-image and her relationships with family members and friends.

We All Have Something

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A friend of mine is recovering from Breast Cancer — she was under 30 when diagnosed and it changed her physically and emotionally. She wrote this post recently that I when I read it yesterday, it was perfect timing. I really needed this reminder. I hope you find the inspiration and support in her words — which I did– when you are feeling down about you and your body.

We All Have Something

…understanding that we all have something. Maybe some more severe than others, but we have all been through challenges and perhaps don’t like certain things about our bodies. It is a personal journey of acceptance of one’s own self and loving who you are despite sickness or injury.

Bad Pics Mess with your Mind

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Seriously sad how one bad pic (above) can derail me so bad. Ugh!

But here’s a shot the same day a bit more flattering —

It’s all perspective I guess — and changing the voices in your head. 

You really are OK

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Can You Stay Off ‘Fat Talk’ — For A Week?

I’m not one for these weeks devoted to self awareness and all, but this one is certainly carrying the right message. I work on this sort of stuff every single day. Self talk – the little voice we have inside of us that second guesses, fills you with self doubt and questions or self worth. It’s the same voice that tries to deflate and devalue all the work I have done living healthy and fit.

It’s not uncommon for women (or even men) to bond with each other over the travails of their appearance: their hair, their clothes, their weight, their fat. Sound familiar? If so, take note. The week of Oct. 16-22 isFat Talk Free Week. It’s a week in which people are encouraged to stop their “fat talk.” What is fat talk? It’s comments like” I feel so fat in these clothes,” or “do I look fat?” It can also be saying to someone else, “You look great, did you lose weight?” This implies that lost weight is the metric of looking good.

Although some women say that such talk makes them feel better, research suggests that in fact the opposite is true. Do you engage in fat talk? If so, here’s a challenge: Try not doing it — for a day, then for a string of days, then for a week. And what better time then during Fat Talk Free week.

If you partake in fat talk, it’s in part because our culture encourages it. Through various media (including TV, film, magazine ads and articles), we’re all encouraged to think that our bodies should approximate a thin “ideal.” And if we don’t have that type of body (which the vast majority of us don’t), then we shouldn’t feel okay about our bodies. Unfortunately, most of us go along with this premise and we dislike our bodies. Fight back against this premise and the way it makes you feel. To help you in this endeavor, Oct. 19 is Love Your Body Day.

This song by Pink always speaks to that voice inside –

MISS REPRESENTATION: Be The Change You Want to See…

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I watched a trailer for a documentary coming out and it just completely drove home something I was thinking about — just yesterday. Hannah – My amazing, smart, beautiful, funny, quirky, inquisitive, bold, artistic, confident, caring daughter. She is so sure of herself, so confident.  I love that she sees the world as hers for the taking — no obstacles in her way.

She decided a few weeks ago she wanted to run for Vice President of her elementary school. No discussion with us about what we thought, no signs of doubt –she was nominated as a candidate, got to work on her speech and poster — all without any real involvement on our end.

They are filming the candidate speeches today – she practiced, figured out how she wanted to deliver it, picked out a nice outfit, brushed her hair extra this morning, told me she was a bit nervous, and then waved and kissed me goodbye as she headed off to school. I wished her luck and told her I was so proud of her and that i thought she was made to do this!

She showed no signs of doubt, no worries if she is good enough or if she is worthy of running. She just knows she is — and I am so beyond words proud of her.

But sadly, I know there will come a time, if she is like most young girls, where those feelings will be challenged, if not lost. She will begin to doubt her abilities, her accomplishments, and even more – her looks. She will begin to think her looks matter more than her actions and intelligence.  She will begin to focus on her imperfections, which are exactly the things that make her HER and so special.  What causes that moment when it changes?  I wish i could capture the HER right now — and release it as she grows up and needs it. I want her to grow up and be an enhanced version of HER,  but keep the part of HER- that knows she CAN DO IT – in tact. 

There is no science to bringing up an mentally healthy human being,  and I am definitely not able to be with her everywhere, all the time —  like media. What can I do, as her biggest fan and her Mom, to help HER escape unharmed?  My friend Jenny suggested to not let her forget…Film her. Record her. Blog about her. Get her a journal. Lead by example”.  

 

I think she’s right — we, as Mothers, Business Owners, Entrepreneurs, Care Takers, Sisters, Friends, Aunts, Decision Makers, Politicians, Professionals… – need to lead by example. That truly is the something we can all do that is within our own power to control. Every day, make a conscious decision to “Be The Change You Want To See In The World…”

The video below is a trailer for MISS REPRESENTATION, a movie highlighting the misrepresentation of women in positions of power by the media:

“MISS REPRESENTATION uncovers a glaring reality we live with every day but fail to see. Directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the film explores how mainstream media contribute to the under-representation of women in influential positions in America and challenges the media’s limiting and often disparaging portrayals of women, which make it difficult for the average girl to see herself as powerful. 

In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality–and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States still ranks 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, depression rates have doubled among teenage girls, and cosmetic surgery on minors has more than tripled in the last ten years. 

Stories from teenage girls and provocative interviews with politicians, journalists, academics, and activists like Condoleeza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem build momentum as MISS REPRESENTATION accumulates startling facts and statistics that will leave the audience shaken and armed with a new perspective.”

Watch this Video. It’s Important!

http://missrepresentation.org/

Girls, You are Full of Awesome!

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Waking Up Full of Awesome

Holy Smokes do I love this!

There was a time when you were five years old,

and you woke up full of awesome.

You knew you were awesome.

You loved yourself.

You thought you were beautiful,

even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks

inside your grubby sneakers.

You loved your body, and the things it could do.

You thought you were strong.

You knew you were smart.

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over,

because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough,

thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?

Wouldn’t that be nuts,

to tell my little girl below that in another five or ten years

she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?

Or even more bizarre,

that she should be sexy over smart,

beautiful over bold?

Are you freaking kidding me?

Look at her.

She is full of awesome.

You were, once.

Maybe you still are.

Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.

All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself,

you are really missing out.

Scales are not the only indicator — Read this…

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Read this post — I love this post – it really shows why Scales do not tell the whole story or even most of the story:

Now that you are done staring in amazement, eyes darting back and forth between the two Debs and down to “155lbs” to make sure you read it right, let this information really sink in.  Let it change your perspective to something healthier.  Forever!

Now go throw away your scale.

Faced with the facts above, basing your goals – or even worse, your happiness – on the number on your scale is absolutely ridiculous.  I’ll give you an example of why weight is useless information in all but extreme cases.  Let’s pretend Deb came to me at a weight of 200 lbs and told me she wanted to get down to 155 lbs.  Which side of the picture above do you think she would prefer?  Do you think she would have been satisfied with the left side?  Look at her face.  She is ecstatic with her body on the right, but on the left she can hardly stand to have her picture taken.  We can glean from this that goals based on weight are too vague to be useful.  If I had only given you her circumference measurements (waist, hips, thighs, bust, etc.) and no photos, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind which 155 lb Deb you would have chosen as the more aesthetically appealing.  But when you look in the mirror and see a body like the Deb on the left you probably say, “Damn, I need to lose some weight.”  Now you have undeniable evidence that defies that thought.  Losingweight is not what you want and pursuing a number on your scale is not the path to success.  It will drive you insane, though.  But that’s probably not your goal.

Change your perspective to something healthier.  Forever!

 

 

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