Lead a Fit and Healthy Life
Posts tagged marriage
Working on your relationships
05 months ago
You know what I love? On my drive home I see older couples walking. Many of them are Asian or Indian — just walking, together. It’s early in the morning and they are walking. Some walk fast, some slow but they walk together. That’s seriously one of the secrets of staying youthful and together. Exercise and alone time with your friend or mate. I have no way of knowing whether they talk during their daily walks, but just doing something together is the key.
Lately, couples I know separating, on their way to divorce. Why do you think that is? Is it because around this time of our lives — we stop and assess where we are, what we want, and what we have done and ask ourselves — is this enough? is this what I want? am I happy? Some partners just give up. They don’t want to work on it, they don’t care enough about their mate to do it — they take the easy way out. Some work on it and it just becomes clear — it’s not going to work. Time to move on. Whatever the reason, they are breaking up.
Think about it – are you the same person you were when you got married? It’s ok to be more than that person — but the core of you is still there. You are an enhanced version of you –but you are still there. I know so many people that are not even close to the person they were when they first met their husband/wife. They get so wrapped up in their lives and all the stress of running it, they forget themselves and their marriage. Is that fair to themselves, their spouse or their kids?
Marriage isn’t easy. Sometimes it’s downright impossible. It’s work and it needs to be a partnership. There are times when you have to be partners — running the business of your lives. But there has to be enough time to be a couple — connecting over hobbies, interests, laughs. Independent of the kids — putting time into your marriage. I can go on and on about this topic — how you are teaching your kids what a marriage is, how you are teaching your kids about the importance of you as an independent person with interests, hobbies, how you are worth the time to make yourself look & feel your best, how marriage is not a perfect thing — you fight, annoy each other, but in the end –it’s a commitment to each other that is fun, fulfilling and loving.
When you get a chance, look in the mirror and ask yourself – are you the person that your spouse married? If the answer is no –what can you do to bring parts of that back into your relationship? I’m not saying that it will fix all of your problems, but it’s a start.
warmup
800m run
2x
10 Pass thrus
10 Ring Rows
10 Push ups
10 Good Mornings
10 OHS
Skill
L-Sits
Straddle L-Sits
–
Snatch
OHS
WOD
7 rounds for time of:
4 Power Snatches 45 lbs
4 Overhead Squats 45 lbs
4 Overhead Walking Lunges 45 lbs
21 Sit-up (standard)s
time: 11:37
Marriage helps Colon Cancer Survival Rate
07 months ago
Marriage Improves Odds of Surviving Colon Cancer
ScienceDaily (June 21, 2011) — A new study shows that being married boosts survival odds for both men and women with colon cancer at every stage of the disease. Married patients had a 14 percent lower risk of death according to researchers at Penn State’s College of Medicine and Brigham Young University. That estimate is based on analysis of 127,753 patient records.
Similar to studies of other types of cancers, the researchers did find that married people were diagnosed at earlier stages of colon cancer and sought more aggressive treatment. The researchers took those and other factors into account before calculating the benefit of marriage on survival odds.
“Controlling for the stage that the cancer was detected is key,” said Sven Wilson, a study coauthor and professor at Brigham Young University. “Without that, it’s hard to know whether the analysis is just picking up a diagnosis effect.”
Colon cancer is the fourth most common type of cancer in the United States for both men and women. Curiously, the marriage benefit seen in the new study was nearly identical for both men and women.
What’s considered attractive and/or sexy in men versus women
08 months ago
The Sex Difference in Sex Scandals
There are some things that you can’t change about genetics and attraction I guess – no matter how far we have come. I posted this with regards to how women and men are viewed when they are in positions of power – and what is considered acceptable traits for one are actually detractors for the other. Think about all the scandals involving famous men – Kobe, Magic Johnson, Sir Charles, Presidents Clinton/Kennedy, White House Staff, Finance Moguls, Celebrities — most of them weather the storm of bad press and resume their careers. Some even seem more famous and powerful post scandal. As a society it seems to be the norm. Sad…
One has to do with what we typically consider attractive and/or sexy in men versus women. For better or worse … as a culture, we see competence and power as very attractive features in a man. The more power and competence a man and his position (and money) denote, the more attractive he will seem to a whole host of women. This, by the way, explains the appeal of the military flight suit. I single out the flight suit, as opposed to military dress uniforms, because there is nothing inherently attractive in what military pilots refer to as their “green bags.” And yet, a pilot walking into a bar in one increases his chances of getting a date by an order of magnitude over a guy in a t-shirt and jeans. Why? Because the flight suit denotes competence and a certain level of power.
A woman pilot wearing a flight suit into a bar, on the other hand, will see her chances of a date fall. Why? Because (and again, this is a general trend, there are always exceptions), we don’t see competence and power as sexy in a woman. If anything, they’re threatening. When I bought my current airplane 12 years ago, (a simple, four-seat, single engine model), a male friend of mine congratulated me on the purchase, but then added,
“You know, Lane, this is not exactly going to help your love life.”
Is that image changing? Of course it is. More and more men are waking up to the benefits and appeal of a smart, competent, independent and powerful woman. But as a culture, what makes a woman appealing is still her looks, not her power.
Dealing with Cancer – Spouse Has Cancer
11 year ago
For Better, For Worse
What would you do if your new husband was struck with a deadly, disfiguring disease? For Diane Reiners, the diagnosis was a test of love, strength, and the power of wedding vows.
Cancer doesn’t make it easier to love someone. I change his bandages and remind him to take his medication. I make him high-calorie smoothies of Carnation Instant Breakfast, peanut butter, oil, and ice cream. Once, during an MRI, he was fussing like a 2-year-old; I snapped at him and he snapped back at me. I felt guilty for the rest of the day. Still, we rarely fight. We laugh when people say that marriage is hard work. Cancer is hard work; our marriage is easy. But taking care of him can leave me without much time to take care of myself—I don’t go for checkups with my own doctors and I quit going to the gym. Still, there is nothing—nothing—I’d rather be doing than being there with him.
via Dealing with Cancer – Spouse Has Cancer – Marie Claire.
I read this entry obviously being able to relate to it. Dealing with cancer within a marriage differs from couple to couple – and patient/caregiver relationship – it really does test your relationship. There are times when you think you just want a break – get away from it all – at least for me, those thoughts were fleeting and brief. Being able to help and support my partner no matter the circumstances is what I signed up for. He is my best friend and I can’t image life without him – and it’s true – there is nothing else I would rather do than to be able to support and help him back to health. It’s what love is and we are stronger because of it. Our kids get the benefit of our marriage being tested like that and we both did in terms of how we relate to what’s important in life.
And although this author mentions not being able to get to the gym, we all know I chose a different path and got to the gym as a way to help everyone around me. Taking care of the caretaker which I think helped us not only survive our experience, but thrive…
